WEBVTT 1 00:00:08.936 --> 00:00:09.891 - Good evening. 2 00:00:13.071 --> 00:00:15.369 Hi, nice to see everybody here tonight. 3 00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:18.520 And I think we have a really exciting, 4 00:00:18.520 --> 00:00:20.792 stimulating presentation ahead of us. 5 00:00:21.532 --> 00:00:23.906 Before I go any further, I'm Josh Miller. 6 00:00:23.906 --> 00:00:26.450 I'm the cting Dean for the School for Social Work. 7 00:00:26.450 --> 00:00:29.778 I have one announcement I was asked to make by Student Org, 8 00:00:29.778 --> 00:00:32.856 which is that elections are taking place this week. 9 00:00:33.596 --> 00:00:34.513 And they end, 10 00:00:34.513 --> 00:00:36.511 the balloting ends on Friday. 11 00:00:36.511 --> 00:00:39.007 So people are encouraged to vote, 12 00:00:39.007 --> 00:00:41.225 if you have not yet done so. 13 00:00:43.475 --> 00:00:47.057 So, I want to just say a few things about the significance 14 00:00:47.057 --> 00:00:49.190 of this particular Monday Night Lecture, 15 00:00:49.190 --> 00:00:51.707 before I introduce our speaker. 16 00:00:54.557 --> 00:00:59.557 This is the Lydia Rapoport lecture and what it means is that 17 00:00:59.610 --> 00:01:04.610 our guest tonight is not just here for one lecture, 18 00:01:05.273 --> 00:01:07.604 but she will be with us all week. 19 00:01:07.604 --> 00:01:11.151 And will be part of a number of different presentations 20 00:01:11.151 --> 00:01:15.458 and classes and gatherings. 21 00:01:15.458 --> 00:01:19.081 It's particularly fitting that tonight 22 00:01:19.081 --> 00:01:22.494 our lecturer is Faye Mishna, 23 00:01:22.494 --> 00:01:26.707 because she is a graduate of our doctoral program. 24 00:01:26.707 --> 00:01:30.750 And this marks the 50th anniversary of 25 00:01:30.750 --> 00:01:34.131 the Smith College School for Social Work doctoral program. 26 00:01:35.041 --> 00:01:37.056 And that's actually quite a milestone. 27 00:01:37.056 --> 00:01:39.493 (audience applause) Yes, thank you. 28 00:01:43.063 --> 00:01:45.288 The celebrations began yesterday, 29 00:01:45.288 --> 00:01:48.637 when the person who was Dean of the School for Social Work, 30 00:01:48.637 --> 00:01:52.886 Howard Parad, was here along with almost all 31 00:01:52.886 --> 00:01:55.305 of the co-directors of the doctoral program, 32 00:01:55.305 --> 00:02:00.305 many of its alumni, and many of our current PhD students. 33 00:02:00.825 --> 00:02:04.360 And there was a really interesting presentation 34 00:02:04.360 --> 00:02:08.958 by Jerry Shamus, who is professor emeritus at Smith College. 35 00:02:08.958 --> 00:02:10.665 As well as a panel discussion 36 00:02:10.665 --> 00:02:13.310 from some of our distinguished alumni. 37 00:02:13.310 --> 00:02:15.528 So that's kicked off a week 38 00:02:15.528 --> 00:02:18.675 of recognizing our doctoral program. 39 00:02:19.825 --> 00:02:21.446 Just very briefly, 40 00:02:21.446 --> 00:02:26.214 the Smith College PhD program was started 50 years ago 41 00:02:26.214 --> 00:02:30.566 at a time when there were not clinical doctoral programs. 42 00:02:30.566 --> 00:02:33.616 So it was really a unique venture. 43 00:02:33.616 --> 00:02:36.294 It was met by a lot of skepticism 44 00:02:36.294 --> 00:02:39.055 from some of the leaders within the profession. 45 00:02:39.055 --> 00:02:41.392 Although, there were also some who supported it. 46 00:02:41.392 --> 00:02:46.352 And it has carved out this unique niche ever since. 47 00:02:46.762 --> 00:02:49.293 We have many graduates from this program. 48 00:02:49.293 --> 00:02:53.548 And over half of them teach either full-time or part-time 49 00:02:53.548 --> 00:02:56.471 at universities all over the country. 50 00:02:56.471 --> 00:02:58.528 And in North America. 51 00:02:58.528 --> 00:03:03.528 So, it's a special place in the field of social work. 52 00:03:03.937 --> 00:03:08.937 It's really needed in this sea of R1 universities that focus 53 00:03:09.643 --> 00:03:14.643 on how to turn people into really great researchers. 54 00:03:15.435 --> 00:03:17.387 Including the University of Toronto, 55 00:03:17.387 --> 00:03:19.115 where our speaker is from. 56 00:03:19.115 --> 00:03:22.229 But there also needs to be something else, 57 00:03:22.229 --> 00:03:24.385 and I think we are that something else. 58 00:03:24.845 --> 00:03:26.085 And... 59 00:03:26.475 --> 00:03:28.213 To have lasted for 50 years, 60 00:03:28.213 --> 00:03:32.192 and to have been as strong and as influential as we are, 61 00:03:32.192 --> 00:03:34.592 is really, I think, a statement about that. 62 00:03:34.592 --> 00:03:37.088 So I'm looking forward to the next 50 years 63 00:03:37.088 --> 00:03:38.847 for the doctoral program. 64 00:03:39.457 --> 00:03:41.299 Actually, I don't think I'll be here. 65 00:03:41.299 --> 00:03:44.429 But hopefully, many of you in the audience will be. 66 00:03:46.269 --> 00:03:48.389 This is called the 'Lydia Rapoport Lecture' 67 00:03:48.389 --> 00:03:52.473 because Lydia Rapoport was a eminent therapist, 68 00:03:53.163 --> 00:03:55.542 and a graduate of our program, 69 00:03:55.542 --> 00:03:58.214 who graduated in... 70 00:03:59.504 --> 00:04:00.614 1944 71 00:04:01.284 --> 00:04:05.370 She lived in between 1923 and 1971. 72 00:04:05.370 --> 00:04:08.635 She had a very short, but a very impactful life. 73 00:04:08.635 --> 00:04:12.987 And one of the things that I just wanted to mention 74 00:04:12.987 --> 00:04:16.240 about her, is that she really stressed... 75 00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:20.281 She was an expert on brief, short-term practice, 76 00:04:20.281 --> 00:04:23.610 at time when that was something that was just emerging. 77 00:04:24.020 --> 00:04:26.348 And even though she was very steeped 78 00:04:26.348 --> 00:04:28.812 in the school's psycho-dynamic tradition, 79 00:04:28.812 --> 00:04:33.121 she placed a great emphasis on prevention 80 00:04:33.931 --> 00:04:37.128 rather than completely focusing on pathology. 81 00:04:37.908 --> 00:04:40.465 And so, in that way, she was really a pioneer. 82 00:04:41.115 --> 00:04:42.969 Obviously, I didn't know her. 83 00:04:42.969 --> 00:04:46.040 But from what I've heard, she was a beloved person. 84 00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:50.446 She really made her mark with whoever she met. 85 00:04:50.446 --> 00:04:55.446 And so, this lecture and this Scholar and Resident's Week 86 00:04:55.810 --> 00:04:57.763 is in her honor. 87 00:04:59.223 --> 00:05:01.772 So now I'd like to move to talking a little bit about 88 00:05:01.772 --> 00:05:03.948 Faye Mishna, who is the Dean 89 00:05:03.948 --> 00:05:06.582 at the Univerity of Toronto School for Social Work. 90 00:05:06.582 --> 00:05:08.331 And as I said earlier, 91 00:05:08.331 --> 00:05:12.939 one of our more illustrious graduates from our PhD program. 92 00:05:13.729 --> 00:05:16.545 And before I talk about about some of her academic work, 93 00:05:16.545 --> 00:05:20.972 I have this from very reliable sources that, 94 00:05:20.972 --> 00:05:24.918 in Toronto, Faye has a special order 95 00:05:24.918 --> 00:05:26.689 at the local Starbucks. 96 00:05:26.689 --> 00:05:28.982 They know her by name. 97 00:05:28.982 --> 00:05:32.885 And also they know what temperature she likes her coffee. 98 00:05:33.845 --> 00:05:35.976 So that's something to keep in mind, 99 00:05:35.976 --> 00:05:38.399 if you're at any meetings with her this week. 100 00:05:39.149 --> 00:05:41.852 Or if you accompany her downtown 101 00:05:41.852 --> 00:05:43.536 to any of our coffee shops. 102 00:05:46.046 --> 00:05:46.936 So anyway, 103 00:05:46.936 --> 00:05:49.472 Faye, as I said, is the Dean at the University of Toronto. 104 00:05:49.472 --> 00:05:54.472 And she's also the Professor of the Factor Inwentash Faculty 105 00:05:54.975 --> 00:05:57.290 at the University of Toronto. 106 00:05:57.290 --> 00:06:00.703 And also, cross-appointed in the School of Pshychiatry, 107 00:06:00.703 --> 00:06:02.901 as well as the School for Social Work. 108 00:06:03.991 --> 00:06:08.006 She holds the Margaret and Wallace McCain Family Chair 109 00:06:08.006 --> 00:06:10.406 in Child and Family. 110 00:06:11.606 --> 00:06:13.785 And she worked in children's mental health 111 00:06:13.785 --> 00:06:17.285 for over 20 years prior to joining the faculty. 112 00:06:17.285 --> 00:06:22.285 So Faye had a very strong and deep practice background 113 00:06:22.298 --> 00:06:24.591 before she became an academic. 114 00:06:26.391 --> 00:06:28.301 As well as graduating from Smith, 115 00:06:28.301 --> 00:06:30.882 she is a graduate of the Canadian Institute 116 00:06:30.882 --> 00:06:34.882 for Child and Adolescent Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy. 117 00:06:34.882 --> 00:06:38.296 And despite being the Dean of one of North America's 118 00:06:38.296 --> 00:06:42.466 major research university schools of social work, 119 00:06:42.466 --> 00:06:44.962 she maintains a small private practice 120 00:06:44.962 --> 00:06:47.702 in psychotherapy and consultation. 121 00:06:47.702 --> 00:06:49.420 And I can just tell you, 122 00:06:49.420 --> 00:06:52.471 in my brief stint as acting Dean, 123 00:06:52.471 --> 00:06:55.276 I only marvel that she's able to do that. 124 00:06:56.566 --> 00:06:58.698 She's conducted research on bullying, 125 00:06:58.698 --> 00:07:01.844 on cyber-bullying, cyber-counseling, 126 00:07:01.844 --> 00:07:05.897 and the impact of information and communication technology 127 00:07:05.897 --> 00:07:08.312 in face to face counseling, 128 00:07:08.312 --> 00:07:11.408 and interventions with vulnerable children and youth. 129 00:07:11.408 --> 00:07:12.476 I don't know about you, 130 00:07:12.476 --> 00:07:14.051 but this is something that I feel like 131 00:07:14.051 --> 00:07:16.748 I am just beginning to start to grasp. 132 00:07:16.748 --> 00:07:18.930 And I'm really excited about the fact 133 00:07:18.930 --> 00:07:22.872 that Dr. Mishna is here tonight to talk to us about this. 134 00:07:23.602 --> 00:07:25.930 She has many scholarly publications. 135 00:07:25.930 --> 00:07:29.204 Some have focused on bullying, clinical practice, 136 00:07:29.204 --> 00:07:32.639 social work education, and more recently, 137 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:36.660 on cyber technology and its use in counseling. 138 00:07:37.390 --> 00:07:40.562 She's currently conducting a longitudinal study 139 00:07:40.562 --> 00:07:42.600 on cyber-bullying amongst students 140 00:07:42.600 --> 00:07:45.159 grades four, seven, and ten. 141 00:07:45.159 --> 00:07:48.167 And is also collecting research on the implications 142 00:07:48.167 --> 00:07:51.420 of cyber technology for social work practice. 143 00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:55.056 She's the author of a book on bullying, 144 00:07:55.056 --> 00:07:58.490 published by Oxford University Press in October, 145 00:07:58.490 --> 00:08:01.626 I mean, excuse me, May of 2012. 146 00:08:01.626 --> 00:08:04.474 Please join me in welcoming Dr. Faye Mishna. 147 00:08:04.474 --> 00:08:08.948 (audience applause) 148 00:08:15.140 --> 00:08:16.463 Thank you, can you hear me? 149 00:08:17.773 --> 00:08:19.964 So first of all, it's an incredible honor to be here. 150 00:08:19.964 --> 00:08:23.399 And I just want to say something about the Smith College 151 00:08:23.399 --> 00:08:25.489 School for Social Work PhD program. 152 00:08:25.489 --> 00:08:27.718 It is one of the best things that I ever did in my life. 153 00:08:27.718 --> 00:08:29.545 I loved every moment of it. 154 00:08:29.545 --> 00:08:31.925 And one of the things that, the University of Toronto 155 00:08:31.925 --> 00:08:33.728 is a research intensive university, 156 00:08:33.728 --> 00:08:36.287 but we really are focused on trying to integrate 157 00:08:36.287 --> 00:08:38.325 research and practice, and practice and research. 158 00:08:38.325 --> 00:08:41.247 And so, the people who graduate from this program, 159 00:08:41.247 --> 00:08:43.380 from Smith College, are really valued. 160 00:08:43.380 --> 00:08:45.716 And I think it's really important to remember that. 161 00:08:45.716 --> 00:08:47.327 That what you have is unique, 162 00:08:47.327 --> 00:08:49.215 it's not being taught everywhere else. 163 00:08:49.215 --> 00:08:51.259 But there's a gap and we really need it. 164 00:08:51.259 --> 00:08:53.385 So, just wanted to say that. 165 00:08:54.475 --> 00:08:55.762 And speaking of Smith... 166 00:08:56.472 --> 00:08:59.541 So when I came to start the doctoral program, 167 00:08:59.541 --> 00:09:02.218 I was supervisor of an agency that worked with 168 00:09:02.218 --> 00:09:03.872 kids who had learning disabilities 169 00:09:03.872 --> 00:09:05.621 and social, emotional problems. 170 00:09:05.621 --> 00:09:07.253 So of course, they were always referred 171 00:09:07.253 --> 00:09:10.271 for a lot of psycho-social problems, including bullying. 172 00:09:10.271 --> 00:09:13.002 But it was actually my dissertation, 173 00:09:13.002 --> 00:09:14.335 so my research at Smith, 174 00:09:14.335 --> 00:09:16.841 that helped me realize the importance of bullying. 175 00:09:16.841 --> 00:09:18.484 And it's because of Smith 176 00:09:18.484 --> 00:09:20.820 that I got into my program of research. 177 00:09:20.820 --> 00:09:24.041 What happened was, we at this little agency, 178 00:09:24.041 --> 00:09:26.611 we offered group therapy for the kids. 179 00:09:26.611 --> 00:09:27.774 And that was very different, 180 00:09:27.774 --> 00:09:29.214 because most places at the time 181 00:09:29.214 --> 00:09:31.166 were offering social skills training. 182 00:09:31.166 --> 00:09:33.342 Where they were teaching the kids how to learn skills. 183 00:09:33.342 --> 00:09:36.190 But we were offering a more open-ended therapy. 184 00:09:36.190 --> 00:09:37.896 Assuming that they did have the skills, 185 00:09:37.896 --> 00:09:39.983 but they just had a lot of anxiety and issues. 186 00:09:39.983 --> 00:09:42.344 So my research was Grounded Theory, 187 00:09:42.344 --> 00:09:43.578 where I was interviewing them, 188 00:09:43.578 --> 00:09:45.115 asking them about their experiences 189 00:09:45.115 --> 00:09:46.886 of being in the group therapy. 190 00:09:46.886 --> 00:09:48.997 I did not ask them one thing about bullying. 191 00:09:48.997 --> 00:09:50.586 It was not on my mind. 192 00:09:50.586 --> 00:09:53.243 And one of the things that came out in the research, 193 00:09:53.243 --> 00:09:55.173 and it's one of the reasons I love research, 194 00:09:55.173 --> 00:09:57.616 is that they talked a lot bit about how, 195 00:09:57.616 --> 00:10:00.349 their words were, they said, one of the things they loved 196 00:10:00.349 --> 00:10:01.502 about being in the group, 197 00:10:01.502 --> 00:10:02.930 is they didn't have to worry 198 00:10:02.930 --> 00:10:05.170 about the fact of being bullied. 199 00:10:05.170 --> 00:10:07.870 They didn't have to worry about how they were talking 200 00:10:07.870 --> 00:10:09.170 or how they were being. 201 00:10:09.170 --> 00:10:10.717 And that was critical for them. 202 00:10:10.717 --> 00:10:13.437 So for me, that really influenced my practice, 203 00:10:13.437 --> 00:10:15.539 when I went back, after I finished. 204 00:10:16.429 --> 00:10:19.279 We brought bullying front and center into the program. 205 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:21.210 Because we realized, into the services, 206 00:10:21.210 --> 00:10:23.652 because I realized they were just as affected 207 00:10:23.652 --> 00:10:26.415 by the bullying, and the lack of validation of it, 208 00:10:26.415 --> 00:10:28.889 as they were affected by the learning disabilities. 209 00:10:29.569 --> 00:10:32.908 And then I stayed at the agency for five years. 210 00:10:32.908 --> 00:10:34.977 And then the University of Toronto was looking 211 00:10:34.977 --> 00:10:38.326 for somebody who did research, but who was really clinical. 212 00:10:38.326 --> 00:10:40.226 So I decided to apply. 213 00:10:40.226 --> 00:10:42.071 And one of the things you have to do 214 00:10:42.071 --> 00:10:44.130 is choose a program of research. 215 00:10:44.130 --> 00:10:46.604 And my program of research became bullying. 216 00:10:46.604 --> 00:10:48.673 So, I feel like it's just really been 217 00:10:48.673 --> 00:10:50.883 the research and practice going back and forth. 218 00:10:51.603 --> 00:10:52.363 And... 219 00:10:52.783 --> 00:10:55.020 And then I started working on cyber-bullying. 220 00:10:55.850 --> 00:10:57.747 And that's what I'm going to talk about today. 221 00:10:57.747 --> 00:10:59.512 And I'm going to just give an overview 222 00:10:59.512 --> 00:11:02.440 of cyber-bullying and the cyber world. 223 00:11:02.440 --> 00:11:06.408 And then I'd like to present some, as Josh mentioned, 224 00:11:06.408 --> 00:11:08.381 I'm doing a three year study right now. 225 00:11:08.381 --> 00:11:09.534 And we're in the third year, 226 00:11:09.534 --> 00:11:11.954 and we're just starting to look at some of the data. 227 00:11:11.954 --> 00:11:16.114 And some of the interviews have very interesting findings, 228 00:11:16.114 --> 00:11:17.799 that I think have huge implications 229 00:11:17.799 --> 00:11:19.527 for social work practice. 230 00:11:19.527 --> 00:11:21.500 For all practice, but for social work. 231 00:11:21.500 --> 00:11:23.336 So I wanted to talk a little bit about that. 232 00:11:24.896 --> 00:11:28.114 So it's 'What's App With Youth Online'. 233 00:11:29.034 --> 00:11:31.050 And this... 234 00:11:38.010 --> 00:11:38.751 Sorry. 235 00:11:42.155 --> 00:11:43.191 Is that working? 236 00:11:43.191 --> 00:11:46.402 So Laurel, I wanted to just talk briefly about Laurel. 237 00:11:46.402 --> 00:11:49.068 When I had started doing my research on cyber-bullying, 238 00:11:49.068 --> 00:11:51.137 that was when everybody knew about predators. 239 00:11:51.137 --> 00:11:53.132 Nobody was interested in cyber-bullying. 240 00:11:53.132 --> 00:11:55.425 And Laurel was referred to me at my practice. 241 00:11:55.425 --> 00:11:56.630 She was 15. 242 00:11:56.630 --> 00:11:58.881 Her parents were absolutely devastated, 243 00:11:58.881 --> 00:12:01.345 because they had gotten a phone call from the principal 244 00:12:01.345 --> 00:12:03.083 that a photo of her was being 245 00:12:03.083 --> 00:12:06.134 passed around the school, digitally. 246 00:12:06.134 --> 00:12:07.979 And she didn't have a top on. 247 00:12:07.979 --> 00:12:10.560 And they were very freaked out about it. 248 00:12:10.560 --> 00:12:14.507 And at that time, I did know about that 249 00:12:14.507 --> 00:12:16.820 because of our study that we had done. 250 00:12:16.820 --> 00:12:18.730 But nope, it was not on the radar. 251 00:12:18.730 --> 00:12:20.352 People were not aware of that. 252 00:12:20.352 --> 00:12:22.879 So, I'm going to come back to Laurel at the end. 253 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:25.597 But when I would talk about cyber-bullying then, 254 00:12:25.597 --> 00:12:26.674 I often used, 255 00:12:26.674 --> 00:12:28.177 I would obviously disguise it, 256 00:12:28.177 --> 00:12:29.915 but I often used her as an example. 257 00:12:29.915 --> 00:12:32.309 Saying, "This is an example of cyber-bullying." 258 00:12:32.309 --> 00:12:34.709 And now when we go over it eight years later, 259 00:12:34.709 --> 00:12:36.693 it's out there completely. 260 00:12:36.693 --> 00:12:38.883 Which I think has its own issues that I'll talk about. 261 00:12:40.513 --> 00:12:44.028 The question that people ask about cyber-bullying often is, 262 00:12:44.028 --> 00:12:46.342 is it the same as bullying, traditional bulling, 263 00:12:46.342 --> 00:12:47.504 or is it different? 264 00:12:47.504 --> 00:12:49.712 And I think the answer is, we don't really know. 265 00:12:49.712 --> 00:12:51.600 And people are really trying to sort out 266 00:12:51.600 --> 00:12:53.552 the differences and similarities. 267 00:12:53.552 --> 00:12:55.836 We do know there are similarities to bullying, 268 00:12:55.836 --> 00:12:57.392 and we do know there are differences. 269 00:12:57.392 --> 00:13:00.016 But we also know that cyber-bullying takes place 270 00:13:00.016 --> 00:13:02.885 in the context of this new cyber world. 271 00:13:02.885 --> 00:13:03.994 And we cannot, 272 00:13:03.994 --> 00:13:05.925 I really feel that we cannot, 273 00:13:05.925 --> 00:13:08.164 talk about or understand cyber-bullying 274 00:13:08.164 --> 00:13:10.212 unless we put it in the context of the world. 275 00:13:10.212 --> 00:13:11.983 Because it's a new world. 276 00:13:13.363 --> 00:13:14.912 So the cyber world, 277 00:13:14.912 --> 00:13:18.368 it's created a whole new social environment for youth. 278 00:13:18.368 --> 00:13:21.067 Where there are unprecedented opportunities 279 00:13:21.067 --> 00:13:24.395 for them to have interactions with people inside and outside 280 00:13:24.395 --> 00:13:26.241 of their social world. 281 00:13:26.241 --> 00:13:29.271 And that's never happened before. 282 00:13:29.271 --> 00:13:30.731 And it's always advancing. 283 00:13:30.731 --> 00:13:32.236 That's the other thing that's very critical. 284 00:13:32.236 --> 00:13:33.900 It happens very quickly. 285 00:13:35.770 --> 00:13:37.949 'The Cyber World', and more-so now, 286 00:13:37.949 --> 00:13:39.657 because when I started doing the research 287 00:13:39.657 --> 00:13:42.963 it was computers, but now it's mobiles, 288 00:13:42.963 --> 00:13:47.070 is pervasive, it creeps into all aspects of our lives. 289 00:13:47.070 --> 00:13:49.811 And it's just really permeated everything. 290 00:13:49.811 --> 00:13:52.861 It's constantly changing, and it's rapidly advancing. 291 00:13:52.861 --> 00:13:55.826 When I first started working in it, I went to a talk, 292 00:13:55.826 --> 00:13:57.800 this was like about eight or nine years ago, 293 00:13:57.800 --> 00:14:00.559 and it was a lawyer speaking about cyber safety. 294 00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:02.254 But he talked about it being equivalent 295 00:14:02.254 --> 00:14:03.695 to the Industrial Revolution. 296 00:14:03.695 --> 00:14:05.198 That it's that revolutionary. 297 00:14:05.198 --> 00:14:07.032 And I think we need to understand that. 298 00:14:10.402 --> 00:14:13.599 So, teenagers and children have, 299 00:14:13.599 --> 00:14:16.479 they are on so many on-line platforms. 300 00:14:16.479 --> 00:14:19.029 Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. 301 00:14:19.029 --> 00:14:21.173 And every day there are new ones. 302 00:14:21.173 --> 00:14:24.330 And they're accessing these kinds of platforms 303 00:14:24.330 --> 00:14:25.310 more and more. 304 00:14:25.310 --> 00:14:27.411 And more and more, they're doing it in a mobile way. 305 00:14:28.511 --> 00:14:29.970 One way to think about it, 306 00:14:29.970 --> 00:14:31.598 this is a generation of youth 307 00:14:31.598 --> 00:14:34.226 that have never known a world without technology. 308 00:14:34.226 --> 00:14:35.835 And when I first started talking about it, 309 00:14:35.835 --> 00:14:37.436 I thought about it as DNA. 310 00:14:37.436 --> 00:14:40.401 But then we realized that DNA is our old term. 311 00:14:40.401 --> 00:14:41.532 It really is their OS. 312 00:14:41.532 --> 00:14:43.601 It's really in their Operating System. 313 00:14:46.031 --> 00:14:47.897 And just a bit about some statistics. 314 00:14:47.897 --> 00:14:51.022 If you look at the numbers of the unique visitors 315 00:14:51.022 --> 00:14:54.628 to Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. 316 00:14:54.628 --> 00:14:57.348 So Snapchat, it's 400 million 'snaps' a day. 317 00:14:57.348 --> 00:14:59.748 This is absolutely pervasive. 318 00:14:59.748 --> 00:15:03.138 And one thing that I keep coming back to is that, 319 00:15:03.138 --> 00:15:05.218 when something happens, like a tragedy, 320 00:15:05.218 --> 00:15:06.776 it's in the media, and we talk about it. 321 00:15:06.776 --> 00:15:08.995 And then, a week later, it's gone. 322 00:15:08.995 --> 00:15:11.075 But adults need to be aware that, 323 00:15:11.075 --> 00:15:12.887 because it's gone from our radar screen, 324 00:15:12.887 --> 00:15:14.957 but it's going on, they are living this. 325 00:15:17.867 --> 00:15:20.033 So the cyber world, it can increase the likelihood 326 00:15:20.033 --> 00:15:21.196 of negative interactions. 327 00:15:21.196 --> 00:15:22.721 Which everybody's aware of. 328 00:15:24.561 --> 00:15:26.419 For reasons that people know, 329 00:15:26.419 --> 00:15:28.124 there are fewer social skills. 330 00:15:28.124 --> 00:15:31.016 There's a record of the events, forever and ever. 331 00:15:31.016 --> 00:15:33.585 And it's always available, that's one of the big things. 332 00:15:33.585 --> 00:15:36.498 One of the kids in one of our studies on cyber-bullying 333 00:15:36.498 --> 00:15:38.609 said, "It's non-stop bullying." 334 00:15:38.609 --> 00:15:40.358 Because it can happen at school, 335 00:15:40.358 --> 00:15:42.545 and then it can kind of follow you home. 336 00:15:44.625 --> 00:15:46.502 But when people talk about cyber-bullying, 337 00:15:46.502 --> 00:15:48.186 the often talk about the technology, 338 00:15:48.186 --> 00:15:49.894 as if the technology is the issue. 339 00:15:49.894 --> 00:15:52.432 We have to remember that cyber-bullying, 340 00:15:52.432 --> 00:15:54.362 like regular bullying, 341 00:15:54.362 --> 00:15:57.061 happens in the context of relationships. 342 00:15:57.061 --> 00:15:59.013 So we need to think about it. 343 00:15:59.013 --> 00:16:02.650 The technology facilitates that, for good and for bad, 344 00:16:02.650 --> 00:16:04.719 but it really does happen in relationships. 345 00:16:05.419 --> 00:16:07.608 And there are features of the technology 346 00:16:07.608 --> 00:16:10.701 that adds additional complexities to the relationships. 347 00:16:10.701 --> 00:16:12.184 And again, the younger you are, 348 00:16:12.184 --> 00:16:14.188 although adults have trouble with it as well. 349 00:16:14.188 --> 00:16:17.196 So, it lessens inhibitions, because it's just... 350 00:16:17.196 --> 00:16:18.498 You press 'send'. 351 00:16:18.498 --> 00:16:20.674 It's often and it's spontaneous. 352 00:16:20.674 --> 00:16:22.476 And it happens all the time. 353 00:16:22.476 --> 00:16:24.738 There's fewer social and contextual cues. 354 00:16:24.738 --> 00:16:27.990 And that can decrease somebody's sensitivity or empathy. 355 00:16:27.990 --> 00:16:30.465 Because if you're seeing somebody face to face, 356 00:16:30.465 --> 00:16:32.055 and you're doing something hurtful to them, 357 00:16:32.055 --> 00:16:33.921 you can see it in their body, in their face. 358 00:16:33.921 --> 00:16:35.041 That might stop you. 359 00:16:35.041 --> 00:16:36.321 You don't see it this way. 360 00:16:36.321 --> 00:16:38.709 And kids talk about that, when they they describe that. 361 00:16:38.709 --> 00:16:41.045 And there's the perception of anonymity. 362 00:16:41.045 --> 00:16:43.104 And the reason I say it's a perception is, 363 00:16:43.104 --> 00:16:45.723 there's really an assumption that it's anonymous, 364 00:16:45.723 --> 00:16:46.546 but it's not. 365 00:16:46.546 --> 00:16:49.308 People really, it happens in their friendship circles. 366 00:16:49.308 --> 00:16:50.972 They might not know who's doing it right away, 367 00:16:50.972 --> 00:16:52.700 but they do find out. 368 00:16:55.170 --> 00:16:58.726 So, I don't need to tell you, what's clear 369 00:16:58.726 --> 00:17:00.580 is that it can be a dangerous combination that 370 00:17:00.580 --> 00:17:03.947 increases the likelihood of impulsive and hurtful actions. 371 00:17:05.337 --> 00:17:08.008 Then, if we put that together with 372 00:17:08.008 --> 00:17:10.974 the developmental characteristics of children and youth, 373 00:17:10.974 --> 00:17:12.658 there's characteristics about them, 374 00:17:12.658 --> 00:17:14.323 that they are still growing. 375 00:17:14.323 --> 00:17:15.804 They still are dependent. 376 00:17:15.804 --> 00:17:17.127 And as they become more independent, 377 00:17:17.127 --> 00:17:18.546 they need to be inter-dependent. 378 00:17:18.546 --> 00:17:19.996 They need guidance. 379 00:17:19.996 --> 00:17:22.525 And then there's this internet world, 380 00:17:22.525 --> 00:17:24.210 and more and more with mobile world, 381 00:17:24.210 --> 00:17:26.599 that let's them have freedom and autonomy 382 00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:28.978 in a way that they're not necessarily prepared for. 383 00:17:28.978 --> 00:17:30.663 And there's been this kind of myth 384 00:17:30.663 --> 00:17:32.752 that they're technologically adept. 385 00:17:32.752 --> 00:17:34.128 That's not a myth, that's true. 386 00:17:34.128 --> 00:17:36.251 But that doesn't mean they're technologically able 387 00:17:36.251 --> 00:17:37.939 to deal with the technology. 388 00:17:38.969 --> 00:17:40.195 And I can't stress enough, 389 00:17:40.195 --> 00:17:42.104 the current generation has never experienced 390 00:17:42.104 --> 00:17:43.427 a world without technology. 391 00:17:43.427 --> 00:17:45.005 And the reason that's important is, 392 00:17:45.005 --> 00:17:47.448 because adults often say, "Oh, it's not real. 393 00:17:47.448 --> 00:17:48.546 They're not really talking. 394 00:17:48.546 --> 00:17:50.189 It's not the same as face to face." 395 00:17:50.189 --> 00:17:51.319 Somebody named Danah Boyd 396 00:17:51.319 --> 00:17:53.762 has written a lot of stuff on that saying, 397 00:17:53.762 --> 00:17:55.009 and I think it's really true, 398 00:17:55.009 --> 00:17:57.282 "We have to remember, it is real to them." 399 00:17:57.282 --> 00:18:00.247 As long as we think it's not, there is a situation. 400 00:18:00.247 --> 00:18:01.868 At the University of Toronto, actually, 401 00:18:01.868 --> 00:18:04.129 a professor and I were having a meeting with some students. 402 00:18:04.129 --> 00:18:05.655 And she had just come out of a class with them. 403 00:18:05.655 --> 00:18:06.956 It was PhD students. 404 00:18:06.956 --> 00:18:08.353 And she said to them, you know, 405 00:18:08.353 --> 00:18:10.326 "I used to come into the class to see you guys chatting. 406 00:18:10.326 --> 00:18:11.500 I came in today, nobody was talking, 407 00:18:11.500 --> 00:18:13.110 you were all on your iPhones." 408 00:18:13.110 --> 00:18:14.219 And so one of them said, 409 00:18:14.219 --> 00:18:16.321 "We were chatting, we were chatting on our iPhones." 410 00:18:16.321 --> 00:18:17.856 And for them that's real. 411 00:18:17.856 --> 00:18:20.075 So, as adults, we have to remember that. 412 00:18:22.005 --> 00:18:24.360 So, I want to show an example of that. 413 00:18:24.360 --> 00:18:25.864 If I can get it work. 414 00:18:25.864 --> 00:18:29.719 (audience laughter) 415 00:18:31.271 --> 00:18:33.244 OK, this is a 12 month old baby. 416 00:18:37.134 --> 00:18:40.244 You can't hear her, but she's squealing with delight. 417 00:18:43.673 --> 00:18:45.043 And she's... 418 00:18:45.647 --> 00:18:47.849 She's looking, she's trying to turn the pages. 419 00:18:50.812 --> 00:18:54.084 (audience laughter) 420 00:19:04.462 --> 00:19:06.547 (giggles from audience) 421 00:19:10.903 --> 00:19:12.141 So she's like a little scientist. 422 00:19:12.141 --> 00:19:13.101 She checks out her finger. 423 00:19:13.101 --> 00:19:14.221 Watch her check out her finger. 424 00:19:14.221 --> 00:19:16.150 In the book, it's not working. 425 00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:20.028 - [Voiceover] Wow, that's fantastic. 426 00:19:20.028 --> 00:19:21.658 Then her leg, it's working. 427 00:19:21.658 --> 00:19:25.521 (eruption of audience laughter) 428 00:19:27.469 --> 00:19:29.282 And now she's starting to sound very frustrated, 429 00:19:29.282 --> 00:19:31.474 making these frustrated noises. 430 00:19:31.474 --> 00:19:33.834 And now she's squealing with delight again. 431 00:19:38.164 --> 00:19:40.602 So, nobody can say that's not real. 432 00:19:41.432 --> 00:19:42.561 "For my one year old daughter, 433 00:19:42.561 --> 00:19:44.225 an magazine is an iPad that does not work," 434 00:19:44.225 --> 00:19:45.121 this woman said, 435 00:19:45.121 --> 00:19:46.486 "It will remain so for her whole life. 436 00:19:46.486 --> 00:19:49.142 Steve Jobs has coded a part of her OS." 437 00:19:49.902 --> 00:19:52.180 So, that's the context we have to be aware of. 438 00:19:52.180 --> 00:19:54.580 So, speaking of that, I just have a few statistics. 439 00:19:54.580 --> 00:19:55.946 Just so we have some idea. 440 00:19:55.946 --> 00:19:58.196 And some of these are like three years old, 441 00:19:58.196 --> 00:19:59.401 so they're already old. 442 00:19:59.401 --> 00:20:03.177 The Canadian youth, most of them use cyber technology daily. 443 00:20:04.217 --> 00:20:06.130 There it says they use e-mail, although now, 444 00:20:06.130 --> 00:20:07.858 e-mail's totally out for them. 445 00:20:08.618 --> 00:20:10.430 Same as in the states. 446 00:20:10.430 --> 00:20:12.784 Many of them, most of them, go on-line. 447 00:20:12.784 --> 00:20:15.013 And if these are even a year old, 448 00:20:15.013 --> 00:20:18.128 it means that it's much higher than that. 449 00:20:19.788 --> 00:20:20.729 A lot of them use, 450 00:20:20.729 --> 00:20:21.892 and that's really important too, 451 00:20:21.892 --> 00:20:23.353 a lot of them use mobile internet. 452 00:20:23.353 --> 00:20:26.020 So that's a game-changer, because it means 453 00:20:26.020 --> 00:20:29.411 they have access to the internet on their mobiles. 454 00:20:32.861 --> 00:20:34.284 So again, just to stress 455 00:20:34.284 --> 00:20:36.140 that the context of the social media is, 456 00:20:38.350 --> 00:20:41.205 that the dramatic revolutionary technological advances 457 00:20:41.205 --> 00:20:43.968 have forever changed how we all interact. 458 00:20:43.968 --> 00:20:46.206 It really has done that. 459 00:20:46.206 --> 00:20:48.341 And children and youth are very sophisticated 460 00:20:48.341 --> 00:20:50.612 users of technology, on the one hand. 461 00:20:50.612 --> 00:20:52.543 Technologically, they're very sophisticated. 462 00:20:52.543 --> 00:20:54.206 Because you can imagine, by the time she's three, 463 00:20:54.206 --> 00:20:55.775 she's gonna be a little expert. 464 00:20:56.505 --> 00:20:57.789 And one of the issues is, 465 00:20:57.789 --> 00:21:00.242 youth acquire technological competence 466 00:21:00.242 --> 00:21:02.535 much faster than their parents or teachers. 467 00:21:02.535 --> 00:21:03.388 And people are, 468 00:21:03.388 --> 00:21:05.202 you always hear adults talking about that. 469 00:21:05.202 --> 00:21:06.430 And I know even at school, 470 00:21:06.430 --> 00:21:08.393 if there's a young student around, they'll have the answer. 471 00:21:08.393 --> 00:21:11.889 But that is one of the things that makes it risky. 472 00:21:11.889 --> 00:21:14.367 Because the people who need the help 473 00:21:14.367 --> 00:21:16.201 know more, technologically, than the people 474 00:21:16.201 --> 00:21:17.428 who have to help them. 475 00:21:17.428 --> 00:21:20.308 And it's also why the adults saying, 476 00:21:20.308 --> 00:21:21.261 "I'm not interested, 477 00:21:21.261 --> 00:21:23.255 it's not my generation, I can't learn about it," 478 00:21:23.255 --> 00:21:24.678 is really not an option. 479 00:21:24.678 --> 00:21:27.941 Because if we don't learn about it, and understand it, 480 00:21:27.941 --> 00:21:29.264 we can't really help them. 481 00:21:29.264 --> 00:21:32.560 And kids know that, they know the adults don't know. 482 00:21:32.560 --> 00:21:34.469 So they will not come to us. 483 00:21:39.459 --> 00:21:42.030 And teenagers share a tremendous amount 484 00:21:42.030 --> 00:21:43.651 of information on-line. 485 00:21:43.651 --> 00:21:47.512 And with the huge proliferation of platforms, 486 00:21:47.512 --> 00:21:49.309 they share more and more. 487 00:21:49.309 --> 00:21:52.337 And it's important to remember that privacy norms 488 00:21:52.337 --> 00:21:53.471 really vary by platform. 489 00:21:53.471 --> 00:21:55.732 So for example, you hear a lot about Facebook. 490 00:21:55.732 --> 00:21:57.662 There's a lot of privacy settings. 491 00:21:57.662 --> 00:21:59.305 And yeah, a lot of teenagers use those. 492 00:21:59.305 --> 00:22:01.214 But for example, with Twitter they don't. 493 00:22:01.214 --> 00:22:04.467 So privacy is different with each platform. 494 00:22:04.467 --> 00:22:07.660 And if there's 30 platforms, we can't say it's the same. 495 00:22:08.360 --> 00:22:10.119 The other thing that we have to remember though is, 496 00:22:10.119 --> 00:22:12.280 research shows they actually do seek help 497 00:22:12.280 --> 00:22:15.424 and advice from friends and others about privacy norms. 498 00:22:15.424 --> 00:22:16.096 So that's... 499 00:22:16.096 --> 00:22:17.738 and privacy settings. 500 00:22:17.738 --> 00:22:19.424 So that's really critical. 501 00:22:20.084 --> 00:22:22.697 But the context of that is, the whole 502 00:22:22.697 --> 00:22:25.565 question of privacy is changing. 503 00:22:25.565 --> 00:22:27.517 So what does privacy mean? 504 00:22:27.517 --> 00:22:29.789 I don't think anybody really has the answer anymore. 505 00:22:29.789 --> 00:22:33.849 Because it has changed, privacy, 506 00:22:35.209 --> 00:22:37.851 and the whole idea of boundaries. 507 00:22:39.131 --> 00:22:40.985 And as I said, the technology 508 00:22:40.985 --> 00:22:43.662 is increasingly mobile and diverse. 509 00:22:43.662 --> 00:22:45.934 And most adults have not heard about a lot of them. 510 00:22:45.934 --> 00:22:48.398 And they, youth, spend a great amount of time 511 00:22:48.398 --> 00:22:49.795 just managing their different 512 00:22:49.795 --> 00:22:53.209 on-line networks and reputations. 513 00:22:53.739 --> 00:22:55.203 So, take a look. 514 00:22:55.803 --> 00:22:56.594 Oops. 515 00:22:57.974 --> 00:23:02.974 So there's one example of some of the many kinds of apps 516 00:23:03.457 --> 00:23:06.133 and networking that youth will be involved in. 517 00:23:06.133 --> 00:23:07.456 And this won't even be all of it. 518 00:23:07.456 --> 00:23:09.882 The PhD student who sent me this said, 519 00:23:09.882 --> 00:23:11.978 that's like roughly half of the amount that she has. 520 00:23:11.978 --> 00:23:14.616 And really, it's just second nature. 521 00:23:14.616 --> 00:23:16.216 And we need to be aware of that. 522 00:23:16.216 --> 00:23:17.805 Because this is a lot of managing, 523 00:23:17.805 --> 00:23:19.832 and it's all considered real. 524 00:23:23.592 --> 00:23:26.283 The other important context 525 00:23:26.283 --> 00:23:28.513 is that the cyber world has a tremendous number 526 00:23:28.513 --> 00:23:31.094 of huge benefits for children and youth. 527 00:23:31.094 --> 00:23:33.963 We need to remember that, especially when we hear negatives. 528 00:23:33.963 --> 00:23:35.632 Because it's very easy when we hear 529 00:23:35.632 --> 00:23:37.331 about tragedies or negative things, to say, 530 00:23:37.331 --> 00:23:38.729 "You know what, it's just not good." 531 00:23:38.729 --> 00:23:41.449 But there are tremendous benefits that are invaluable. 532 00:23:41.449 --> 00:23:43.625 So, there's unprecedented opportunities 533 00:23:43.625 --> 00:23:46.121 to have social support, identity development, 534 00:23:46.121 --> 00:23:48.947 and learning that just wasn't available before. 535 00:23:51.077 --> 00:23:52.295 Research has actually shown 536 00:23:52.295 --> 00:23:54.791 that most on-line interactions are positive or neutral. 537 00:23:54.791 --> 00:23:57.799 And that many of them, because it happens with youth 538 00:23:57.799 --> 00:23:59.687 in their face to face world, 539 00:23:59.687 --> 00:24:03.100 actually increases their intimacy and their relationships. 540 00:24:03.100 --> 00:24:04.828 So it's a positive thing. 541 00:24:04.828 --> 00:24:05.966 And then for... 542 00:24:05.966 --> 00:24:07.653 Anybody who feels marginalized, 543 00:24:07.653 --> 00:24:09.934 it allows them an opportunity to have a group 544 00:24:09.934 --> 00:24:12.495 that they might not be able to have at school or at home. 545 00:24:12.495 --> 00:24:15.887 So for example, LGBTQ, chronic illness, 546 00:24:15.887 --> 00:24:17.476 somebody who has an invisible disability, 547 00:24:17.476 --> 00:24:19.524 somebody who lives in a remote area. 548 00:24:19.524 --> 00:24:21.561 And we cannot stress that enough. 549 00:24:21.561 --> 00:24:23.427 Because we know that if you don't have somebody 550 00:24:23.427 --> 00:24:25.856 you can connect with or feel like, 551 00:24:25.856 --> 00:24:27.760 that that has huge detrimental effects 552 00:24:27.760 --> 00:24:29.040 on somebody's development. 553 00:24:29.040 --> 00:24:31.195 So the fact that they can go on-line and have that, 554 00:24:31.195 --> 00:24:32.931 is absolutely invaluable. 555 00:24:32.931 --> 00:24:34.487 Then the problem, the paradox. 556 00:24:34.487 --> 00:24:36.084 Maybe not the problem, the dilemma is, 557 00:24:36.084 --> 00:24:37.876 the place that provides the safety 558 00:24:37.876 --> 00:24:40.384 also can be the place that provides risks. 559 00:24:40.384 --> 00:24:42.346 So it just means it's complicated though. 560 00:24:42.346 --> 00:24:43.861 Because we can't get rid of it, 561 00:24:43.861 --> 00:24:47.295 because those benefits are incredibly valuable. 562 00:24:49.205 --> 00:24:51.462 So of course, some of the risks that we do know about: 563 00:24:51.462 --> 00:24:53.213 sexual solicitation, harmful material. 564 00:24:53.893 --> 00:24:54.613 One... 565 00:24:55.003 --> 00:24:56.487 Some research has actually shown 566 00:24:56.487 --> 00:24:58.361 that it's not even a risk that kids are going to 567 00:24:58.361 --> 00:24:59.748 be exposed to harmful material, 568 00:24:59.748 --> 00:25:00.964 that's it's a fact. 569 00:25:00.964 --> 00:25:03.098 That most of them have already been exposed to it. 570 00:25:04.158 --> 00:25:06.570 And being exploited in relationships. 571 00:25:07.120 --> 00:25:09.708 And one of the features about it is that it, 572 00:25:09.708 --> 00:25:12.474 and other forms of abuse also can happen in this way, 573 00:25:12.474 --> 00:25:15.525 but is that, it often happens when you're at home, 574 00:25:15.525 --> 00:25:17.092 feeling safe, where you should be safe. 575 00:25:17.092 --> 00:25:19.129 So that's one way that cyber-bullying 576 00:25:19.129 --> 00:25:20.590 is different than traditional bullying. 577 00:25:20.590 --> 00:25:23.779 With traditional bullying, kids know to expect it. 578 00:25:23.779 --> 00:25:26.946 Not that it makes it easy, but that is one difference. 579 00:25:30.176 --> 00:25:34.879 When cyber-bullying first became kind of known, 580 00:25:34.879 --> 00:25:36.086 the big... 581 00:25:37.356 --> 00:25:40.841 Often the message was, a few tips. 582 00:25:40.841 --> 00:25:42.345 Basically, what parents should do 583 00:25:42.345 --> 00:25:45.086 in terms of giving their kids tips, 584 00:25:45.086 --> 00:25:47.412 and the fact that they should monitor them. 585 00:25:47.412 --> 00:25:50.291 So, parents often struggle to monitor. 586 00:25:50.291 --> 00:25:51.913 Now, one of the issues is that, 587 00:25:51.913 --> 00:25:54.643 even with computers, it was hard to monitor. 588 00:25:54.643 --> 00:25:59.475 But with mobile devices, it's almost impossible 589 00:25:59.475 --> 00:26:01.318 to monitor in that kind of way. 590 00:26:01.318 --> 00:26:03.195 That doesn't mean monitoring's not important. 591 00:26:03.195 --> 00:26:05.180 Because actually, it can make a big difference. 592 00:26:05.180 --> 00:26:07.036 But we did need to recognize 593 00:26:07.036 --> 00:26:08.956 that it's a different kind of monitoring. 594 00:26:08.956 --> 00:26:11.569 And the other thing, in terms of monitoring, 595 00:26:11.569 --> 00:26:13.094 again, I don't know how many people here 596 00:26:13.094 --> 00:26:13.948 would even know this, 597 00:26:13.948 --> 00:26:15.356 but one one of the things I was introduced to 598 00:26:15.356 --> 00:26:17.339 awhile ago, was that there is an app. 599 00:26:17.339 --> 00:26:19.942 There are apps that actually can hide your material. 600 00:26:19.942 --> 00:26:21.776 So a lot of kids can get that. 601 00:26:22.566 --> 00:26:25.325 So for example, there's an app that looks like a calculator, 602 00:26:25.325 --> 00:26:27.235 there's an app that looks like a news app. 603 00:26:27.235 --> 00:26:29.976 And then when you open it, when somebody's not around, 604 00:26:29.976 --> 00:26:31.096 it can keep everything. 605 00:26:31.096 --> 00:26:34.200 It actually can keep as much memory as most smart phones. 606 00:26:34.200 --> 00:26:36.215 So the reason that's important is that, 607 00:26:36.215 --> 00:26:39.333 monitoring alone, there's always technological ways 608 00:26:39.333 --> 00:26:40.930 to hide that. 609 00:26:43.820 --> 00:26:47.084 And I guess a feature of the on-line world is that 610 00:26:47.084 --> 00:26:49.847 youth, young people, are going to exercise autonomy 611 00:26:49.847 --> 00:26:52.558 regardless of the regulating and monitoring. 612 00:26:52.558 --> 00:26:56.630 And that rather than just having tips, 613 00:26:56.630 --> 00:26:59.361 that means that adults really need to get involved 614 00:26:59.361 --> 00:27:01.696 in preparing youth to interact responsibly. 615 00:27:01.696 --> 00:27:04.074 They talked about digital responsibility 616 00:27:04.074 --> 00:27:06.880 and digital citizenship, which is a new kind of issue, 617 00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:08.952 because we didn't have it before. 618 00:27:08.952 --> 00:27:12.265 And also, we need to be more open about it. 619 00:27:13.135 --> 00:27:15.311 And let there be room for mistakes. 620 00:27:15.311 --> 00:27:17.605 When, in some of the research that I've done in the past, 621 00:27:17.605 --> 00:27:19.876 when were interviewing kids in grade four and five, 622 00:27:19.876 --> 00:27:22.521 and they would be doing something that was risky, 623 00:27:22.521 --> 00:27:23.577 and we'd ask them. 624 00:27:23.577 --> 00:27:24.394 At that point, actually, we thought 625 00:27:24.394 --> 00:27:25.938 they just didn't understand it was risky. 626 00:27:25.938 --> 00:27:27.080 What became very clear is 627 00:27:27.080 --> 00:27:28.323 they knew very well it was risky. 628 00:27:28.323 --> 00:27:29.800 Because their parents had followed the rules. 629 00:27:29.800 --> 00:27:31.059 Their parents had told them, 630 00:27:31.059 --> 00:27:32.701 "Don't do this, don't do that." 631 00:27:32.701 --> 00:27:34.717 So the kids would say, "I can't tell my parents, 632 00:27:34.717 --> 00:27:35.869 'cause they'll hate me. 633 00:27:35.869 --> 00:27:39.303 They told me not to do this, they'll feel I'm disgusting." 634 00:27:39.303 --> 00:27:41.234 So for me, it's sort of, 635 00:27:41.234 --> 00:27:43.143 and I think for a lot of people in the area, 636 00:27:44.123 --> 00:27:46.106 it's sort of like drinking and driving. 637 00:27:46.106 --> 00:27:48.431 When my generation, the message was, 638 00:27:48.431 --> 00:27:49.668 "Don't drink and drive." 639 00:27:49.668 --> 00:27:50.927 But that was the end of the story. 640 00:27:50.927 --> 00:27:53.039 So if somebody drank and they drove, 641 00:27:53.039 --> 00:27:54.949 it could be tragic. 642 00:27:54.949 --> 00:27:58.158 But then public service announcements came out, 643 00:27:58.158 --> 00:27:59.481 and the message became, 644 00:27:59.481 --> 00:28:00.782 "Don't drink and drive." 645 00:28:00.782 --> 00:28:03.790 That's still the message, but that if you do drink, 646 00:28:03.790 --> 00:28:04.729 phone your parents. 647 00:28:04.729 --> 00:28:06.158 And the message to the parents became, 648 00:28:06.158 --> 00:28:07.087 "Pick up your kids. 649 00:28:07.087 --> 00:28:09.319 Deal with safety first, then deal with the others." 650 00:28:09.319 --> 00:28:10.333 We haven't really done that 651 00:28:10.333 --> 00:28:11.592 with the internet and the mobiles. 652 00:28:11.592 --> 00:28:12.732 And we really need to. 653 00:28:12.732 --> 00:28:14.962 Because with our kids, 654 00:28:14.962 --> 00:28:17.020 and research, again, shows some kids are looking, 655 00:28:17.020 --> 00:28:18.887 you know, they end up looking for it deliberately. 656 00:28:18.887 --> 00:28:20.945 Other times, they just sort of run into trouble, 657 00:28:20.945 --> 00:28:23.398 not meaning to, and they don't know how to get out of it. 658 00:28:23.398 --> 00:28:25.234 And so they need to get the message 659 00:28:25.234 --> 00:28:29.702 that they need to be able to come to you with problems. 660 00:28:29.702 --> 00:28:30.911 To come to us. 661 00:28:30.911 --> 00:28:32.661 Now parents and teachers need help, 662 00:28:32.661 --> 00:28:33.825 and that's one of the places 663 00:28:33.825 --> 00:28:35.554 that I think social workers really come in. 664 00:28:35.554 --> 00:28:37.815 To not just be reactive. 665 00:28:37.815 --> 00:28:38.807 And often people say, 666 00:28:38.807 --> 00:28:40.781 "Well, then that means I'm condoning it." 667 00:28:40.781 --> 00:28:42.178 that doesn't mean we're condoning it. 668 00:28:42.178 --> 00:28:43.639 It just just means that we're saying, 669 00:28:43.639 --> 00:28:45.473 "We want to help you problem-solve." 670 00:28:45.473 --> 00:28:46.977 And given that this is the world, 671 00:28:46.977 --> 00:28:48.761 this is something that they really need to learn. 672 00:28:49.911 --> 00:28:51.251 So in terms of the definition, 673 00:28:51.251 --> 00:28:53.244 there really isn't a universal definition. 674 00:28:53.244 --> 00:28:55.196 And people are still struggling with that. 675 00:28:55.196 --> 00:28:57.597 But generally, it's considered to be 676 00:28:57.597 --> 00:29:00.178 the use of any information communication technology 677 00:29:00.178 --> 00:29:02.226 to deliberately harm somebody. 678 00:29:02.226 --> 00:29:05.350 The criteria are that the intent is to harm, 679 00:29:05.350 --> 00:29:07.772 and that there's a power imbalance. 680 00:29:07.772 --> 00:29:09.382 So even with traditional bullying, 681 00:29:09.382 --> 00:29:11.050 that could be hard sometimes to determine. 682 00:29:11.050 --> 00:29:13.287 With cyber-bullying, it can be very difficult. 683 00:29:16.007 --> 00:29:17.594 And it's complex. 684 00:29:17.594 --> 00:29:19.442 So the questions we have to ask, 685 00:29:20.062 --> 00:29:21.791 When I go back to when I said before, 686 00:29:21.791 --> 00:29:24.574 that we didn't think a lot about cyber-bullying. 687 00:29:24.574 --> 00:29:28.212 And people were more aware of cyber-stalking, 688 00:29:28.212 --> 00:29:31.583 of adults being predators to kids. 689 00:29:31.583 --> 00:29:34.899 Now, often, everything gets lumped into cyber-bullying, 690 00:29:34.899 --> 00:29:35.646 when it's not. 691 00:29:35.646 --> 00:29:36.635 So we need to, this is 692 00:29:36.635 --> 00:29:39.297 again, this is why I think social workers 693 00:29:39.297 --> 00:29:40.342 really need to be involved. 694 00:29:40.342 --> 00:29:41.581 Because that's the other thing I wanted to mention. 695 00:29:41.581 --> 00:29:42.979 That in bullying and cyber-bullying, 696 00:29:42.979 --> 00:29:47.764 most of the people working in it are people in education 697 00:29:47.764 --> 00:29:49.738 and psychology, very few social workers. 698 00:29:49.738 --> 00:29:52.137 And I do think it's area that really needs social work, 699 00:29:52.137 --> 00:29:53.908 because it talks about the person 700 00:29:53.908 --> 00:29:57.054 and all the interactions at all levels of their world. 701 00:29:57.054 --> 00:29:59.675 So we need to ask, "Who's involved? 702 00:29:59.675 --> 00:30:00.881 And how are they related?" 703 00:30:00.881 --> 00:30:01.895 So that's very important. 704 00:30:01.895 --> 00:30:03.281 Because often they're friends. 705 00:30:03.281 --> 00:30:06.620 And that's one of the big surprises the research is showing. 706 00:30:06.620 --> 00:30:09.020 Because if it's a friend, you react very differently. 707 00:30:09.020 --> 00:30:12.432 It's very hard to go tell about your friend. 708 00:30:12.432 --> 00:30:14.565 Especially if you value their friendship, 709 00:30:14.565 --> 00:30:16.721 or if you want to be accepted. 710 00:30:17.791 --> 00:30:19.981 We need to know whether adults are involved. 711 00:30:19.981 --> 00:30:22.765 There's examples in the states too, 712 00:30:22.765 --> 00:30:25.123 but in Canada, Amanda Todd. 713 00:30:25.123 --> 00:30:26.894 That's considered often 714 00:30:26.894 --> 00:30:30.499 as one of the huge examples of cyber-bullying. 715 00:30:30.499 --> 00:30:33.784 But in fact , the man who was alleged to have 716 00:30:33.784 --> 00:30:37.080 started getting her to take off her clothes for him, 717 00:30:37.080 --> 00:30:38.968 and then blackmailing her, 718 00:30:38.968 --> 00:30:42.018 is an adult man in Europe. 719 00:30:42.018 --> 00:30:43.864 And he's been charged now. 720 00:30:43.864 --> 00:30:45.837 So he did blackmail her, 721 00:30:45.837 --> 00:30:48.674 and he did get her to keep doing more and more. 722 00:30:48.674 --> 00:30:51.906 And finally, he did send it to the classmates. 723 00:30:51.906 --> 00:30:54.828 And then, apparently, there was cyber-bullying. 724 00:30:54.828 --> 00:30:56.033 But we need to remember then, 725 00:30:56.033 --> 00:30:58.711 that wasn't just a situation of cyber-bullying. 726 00:30:58.711 --> 00:31:01.248 And not minimize the cyber-bullying aspect, 727 00:31:01.248 --> 00:31:03.756 but we need to understand the whole situation. 728 00:31:03.756 --> 00:31:05.697 And the other question we need to ask is, 729 00:31:05.697 --> 00:31:10.091 "Has an on-line or off-line episode triggered it?" 730 00:31:10.091 --> 00:31:12.768 And we know that they often go together. 731 00:31:12.768 --> 00:31:15.862 And the other example I think of, from Canada, 732 00:31:15.862 --> 00:31:17.867 is Rehtaeh Parsons, who is a girl 733 00:31:17.867 --> 00:31:19.915 who committed suicide as well. 734 00:31:19.915 --> 00:31:24.256 She had allegedly been raped by some youth in her school, 735 00:31:24.256 --> 00:31:25.802 in her university, 736 00:31:25.802 --> 00:31:28.181 and had gone to the police a couple of times, 737 00:31:28.181 --> 00:31:29.685 and nothing had happened. 738 00:31:29.685 --> 00:31:33.951 And then a cell picture, an image of her, was sent around. 739 00:31:33.951 --> 00:31:35.498 And then she was cyber-bullied. 740 00:31:35.498 --> 00:31:38.442 So again, cyber-bullying played a part in it, 741 00:31:38.442 --> 00:31:42.196 but if we think of it only as a cyber-bullying situation, 742 00:31:42.196 --> 00:31:43.785 we're ignoring many other issues 743 00:31:43.785 --> 00:31:45.406 that are also very problematic. 744 00:31:45.406 --> 00:31:46.772 And I think that that's... 745 00:31:46.772 --> 00:31:49.044 So we need to understand that it's very complex. 746 00:31:52.014 --> 00:31:55.172 So, because a lot of the tragedies in the media 747 00:31:55.172 --> 00:31:58.489 are often presented as simplistic and one-dimensional, 748 00:31:58.489 --> 00:32:01.741 and people often are worried about making it more complex. 749 00:32:01.741 --> 00:32:03.949 Because there's a worry that it'll look like you're 750 00:32:03.949 --> 00:32:07.522 blaming the victim or you're condoning cyber-bullying, 751 00:32:07.522 --> 00:32:08.749 or you're minimizing it. 752 00:32:08.749 --> 00:32:10.349 But it really doesn't mean that at all. 753 00:32:11.679 --> 00:32:12.681 What it does mean is, 754 00:32:12.681 --> 00:32:15.945 we need to really encourage dialogue and reflections. 755 00:32:15.945 --> 00:32:17.822 And what it does mean is that we need 756 00:32:17.822 --> 00:32:19.358 to understand that it's complex. 757 00:32:19.358 --> 00:32:20.382 So that's another place where 758 00:32:20.382 --> 00:32:21.641 I think that social workers are critical. 759 00:32:21.641 --> 00:32:22.675 That it's complex. 760 00:32:22.675 --> 00:32:24.680 There's often not a simple answer. 761 00:32:27.070 --> 00:32:28.412 And a bit about the prevalence. 762 00:32:28.412 --> 00:32:30.175 Even though we don't talk about 763 00:32:30.175 --> 00:32:32.311 traditional bullying so much anymore, 764 00:32:32.311 --> 00:32:34.199 the prevalence of traditional bullying 765 00:32:34.199 --> 00:32:35.383 is still considered higher. 766 00:32:35.383 --> 00:32:38.615 So, cyber-bullying tends to be between 10-40%. 767 00:32:38.615 --> 00:32:41.441 And the variation is for many reasons, 768 00:32:41.441 --> 00:32:45.100 due to the samples, how it's defined, the methodology. 769 00:32:45.100 --> 00:32:47.265 And also, as we'll talk a bit about later, 770 00:32:47.265 --> 00:32:49.995 kids often don't describe... 771 00:32:49.995 --> 00:32:53.611 What adults think is cyber-bullying, kids often don't. 772 00:32:53.611 --> 00:32:55.371 They don't describe it as that. 773 00:32:55.371 --> 00:32:56.374 So if you ask ask them, 774 00:32:56.374 --> 00:32:58.464 and in the interviews that we did, actually, 775 00:32:58.464 --> 00:32:59.947 when I was first listening to them, 776 00:32:59.947 --> 00:33:01.003 I thought we'd get nothing. 777 00:33:01.003 --> 00:33:03.115 Because the research assisstant would say, 778 00:33:03.115 --> 00:33:04.262 "Have you ever been cyber-bullying?" 779 00:33:04.262 --> 00:33:05.034 And the kid would say, 780 00:33:05.034 --> 00:33:06.150 "No, I haven't been cyber-bullying. 781 00:33:06.150 --> 00:33:07.323 I've never been involved." 782 00:33:07.323 --> 00:33:08.731 And I thought, "OK, well..." 783 00:33:08.731 --> 00:33:09.883 But then, ten minutes later, 784 00:33:09.883 --> 00:33:11.131 they start describing an incident 785 00:33:11.131 --> 00:33:12.614 that they don't think is cyber-bullying, 786 00:33:12.614 --> 00:33:15.127 but it totally fits our definition. 787 00:33:15.127 --> 00:33:17.675 But we need to realize that there's not one definition then. 788 00:33:17.675 --> 00:33:20.466 You know, if we're going to work with kids and help them, 789 00:33:20.466 --> 00:33:22.782 we need to be aware of their definitions. 790 00:33:24.132 --> 00:33:26.299 And of course, there's risk and protective factors, 791 00:33:26.299 --> 00:33:27.055 like in anything. 792 00:33:27.055 --> 00:33:28.868 And the risk factors really are, 793 00:33:28.868 --> 00:33:31.299 it's association with off-line bullying. 794 00:33:31.299 --> 00:33:34.959 Kids who are vulnerable off-line are vulnerable on-line. 795 00:33:34.959 --> 00:33:36.569 And vice versa. 796 00:33:36.569 --> 00:33:38.776 And protective factors, again, is not a surprise. 797 00:33:38.776 --> 00:33:41.060 School safety and climate, that's huge. 798 00:33:41.060 --> 00:33:43.108 That's a huge protective factor. 799 00:33:43.108 --> 00:33:44.696 And that's of course complicated, 800 00:33:44.696 --> 00:33:47.821 because that takes commitment and resources. 801 00:33:47.821 --> 00:33:49.326 And it's not easy to do. 802 00:33:49.326 --> 00:33:51.118 And parental monitoring, 803 00:33:51.118 --> 00:33:54.051 and that's the full monitoring, with the conversation. 804 00:33:55.801 --> 00:33:58.339 The other paradox about bullying and cyber-bullying 805 00:33:58.339 --> 00:34:01.197 is that for awhile, it wasn't on anybody's radar screen. 806 00:34:01.197 --> 00:34:03.320 So it was often not taken seriously. 807 00:34:03.320 --> 00:34:05.304 You know, it was just, "Oh, that's kids being kids." 808 00:34:05.304 --> 00:34:08.460 So the good news is that we now take it seriously. 809 00:34:08.460 --> 00:34:11.425 But what happens, and some people have written about this, 810 00:34:11.425 --> 00:34:12.587 and I think it's very important, 811 00:34:12.587 --> 00:34:15.369 is that if you call everything 'cyber-bullying', 812 00:34:16.869 --> 00:34:19.978 and we don't pull out things like the bias-based 813 00:34:19.978 --> 00:34:22.912 or the discrimination, we actually can't address the issue. 814 00:34:22.912 --> 00:34:27.242 Because we can't ignore what the underlying motivations are. 815 00:34:27.242 --> 00:34:28.586 And that's actually one of the things 816 00:34:28.586 --> 00:34:29.641 my current study's looking at. 817 00:34:29.641 --> 00:34:30.995 We're trying to try to kind of get a sense 818 00:34:30.995 --> 00:34:32.447 of the underlying motivations. 819 00:34:32.447 --> 00:34:34.623 So bias-based cyber-bullying would be 820 00:34:34.623 --> 00:34:37.053 hate inspired cyber-bullying based on 821 00:34:37.053 --> 00:34:39.796 actual or perceived social identities. 822 00:34:39.796 --> 00:34:43.859 And it's based on societal discrimination and inequity. 823 00:34:43.859 --> 00:34:47.293 So again, it says why it's not just about the child. 824 00:34:47.293 --> 00:34:50.503 Children and youth come with their own vulnerabilities, 825 00:34:50.503 --> 00:34:51.602 their own issues. 826 00:34:51.602 --> 00:34:54.269 But it's taking place in the context of society. 827 00:34:54.269 --> 00:34:56.519 So, the conditions that foster bullying 828 00:34:56.519 --> 00:34:59.080 and marginalized youth appear across all levels 829 00:34:59.080 --> 00:35:03.036 of the social ecology, including the cyber level. 830 00:35:03.986 --> 00:35:05.809 So we need to be aware of that. 831 00:35:06.989 --> 00:35:09.147 And I can't stress enough that cyber-bullying 832 00:35:09.147 --> 00:35:11.282 occurs in the context of relationships. 833 00:35:11.282 --> 00:35:13.187 It's not the technology. 834 00:35:14.419 --> 00:35:16.504 And also, as with traditional bullying, 835 00:35:16.504 --> 00:35:18.979 it tends to take place in the presence of witnesses, 836 00:35:18.979 --> 00:35:20.792 who play key roles. 837 00:35:20.792 --> 00:35:22.956 And in the cyber world, 838 00:35:22.956 --> 00:35:25.560 it can be easy to become a participant, 839 00:35:25.560 --> 00:35:27.329 because it seems like it's, 840 00:35:27.329 --> 00:35:28.994 you're not going to be known. 841 00:35:28.994 --> 00:35:32.178 They other thing that's important about witnesses 842 00:35:32.178 --> 00:35:34.531 is that there's different roles they take. 843 00:35:34.531 --> 00:35:37.679 But in the cyber world, because you can't see faces, 844 00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:39.981 there's been some articles that have said 845 00:35:39.981 --> 00:35:42.157 that if a child has been has cyber-bullied, 846 00:35:42.157 --> 00:35:44.653 has nobody, nobody's coming to their defense 847 00:35:44.653 --> 00:35:46.178 in the cyber world, 848 00:35:46.178 --> 00:35:48.845 they assume that those other kids, 849 00:35:48.845 --> 00:35:50.039 or the other witnesses, 850 00:35:50.039 --> 00:35:52.621 agree with the bully or the perpetrator. 851 00:35:52.621 --> 00:35:54.124 And that's really important. 852 00:35:54.124 --> 00:35:57.490 It's the silence, really does say something. 853 00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:00.712 So then, 854 00:36:00.712 --> 00:36:02.983 I think this really does highlight it. 855 00:36:02.983 --> 00:36:04.509 Because one of the things we know is that 856 00:36:04.509 --> 00:36:07.367 kids do not report bullying. 857 00:36:07.367 --> 00:36:08.824 They don't report bullying, 858 00:36:08.824 --> 00:36:11.940 and they don't report cyber-bullying for many reasons. 859 00:36:11.940 --> 00:36:13.582 And the reason I think that's critical, 860 00:36:13.582 --> 00:36:15.331 is I don't think that's a problem of the kids. 861 00:36:15.331 --> 00:36:17.985 I think it's a problem of the world and adults. 862 00:36:17.990 --> 00:36:20.614 We need to help them find a way to be able to talk to us. 863 00:36:21.224 --> 00:36:22.978 So, and I, in the research I have done, 864 00:36:22.978 --> 00:36:25.314 both with traditional bullying and now with cyber-bullying, 865 00:36:25.314 --> 00:36:26.999 we really find that youth don't disclose, 866 00:36:26.999 --> 00:36:29.740 although they're very willing to disclose to researchers 867 00:36:29.740 --> 00:36:32.908 who ask and who they feel are not part of their world. 868 00:36:32.908 --> 00:36:34.412 And what they talk about is, 869 00:36:34.412 --> 00:36:37.131 they often don't disclose until they feel 870 00:36:37.131 --> 00:36:39.467 a situation feels unbearable. 871 00:36:39.467 --> 00:36:41.828 And the reason that's a concern is because 872 00:36:41.828 --> 00:36:43.940 they're delaying accessing the help 873 00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:45.357 and supports that they need. 874 00:36:45.357 --> 00:36:46.372 And often, therefore, 875 00:36:46.372 --> 00:36:49.582 by the time they actually go for help, it's late. 876 00:36:49.582 --> 00:36:51.674 And we know the tragic situations, 877 00:36:51.674 --> 00:36:53.502 the suicides, it's too late. 878 00:36:53.502 --> 00:36:56.149 But other times, it's late. 879 00:36:57.319 --> 00:36:59.850 And other times, they do go or they show clues, 880 00:36:59.850 --> 00:37:01.214 and we just don't notice it. 881 00:37:01.214 --> 00:37:02.655 So one of the big questions is, 882 00:37:02.655 --> 00:37:04.383 "What inhibits disclosure?" 883 00:37:04.383 --> 00:37:05.460 Well, one of the things, 884 00:37:05.460 --> 00:37:06.943 the big, number one thing, 885 00:37:06.943 --> 00:37:09.396 is fear of losing access to technology. 886 00:37:09.396 --> 00:37:12.872 I've had kids in grade four and five so eloquently say, 887 00:37:12.872 --> 00:37:16.243 they know their parents have the best interests in mind, 888 00:37:16.243 --> 00:37:18.217 they know they think they're doing the right thing. 889 00:37:18.217 --> 00:37:21.182 But they can't bear the idea of losing their technology. 890 00:37:21.182 --> 00:37:24.840 So they would rather risk the harm that may happen, 891 00:37:24.840 --> 00:37:26.536 then to losing that access. 892 00:37:26.536 --> 00:37:28.284 Because the access isn't to technology, 893 00:37:28.284 --> 00:37:29.565 it's to their relationships. 894 00:37:29.565 --> 00:37:30.866 And that's why we have to remember that 895 00:37:30.866 --> 00:37:32.637 it's not a computer, it's not a cell phone, 896 00:37:32.637 --> 00:37:34.770 it's their contact with the world. 897 00:37:35.520 --> 00:37:37.074 And they don't want to make a big deal. 898 00:37:37.074 --> 00:37:39.002 That's a really big thing. 899 00:37:40.122 --> 00:37:42.138 And sometimes when they don't want to make a big deal, 900 00:37:42.138 --> 00:37:44.986 they talk about parents and families 901 00:37:44.986 --> 00:37:46.149 that are already burdened, 902 00:37:46.149 --> 00:37:47.880 and they don't want to add to that. 903 00:37:48.830 --> 00:37:51.351 And as I said, they often don't call it cyber-bullying. 904 00:37:51.351 --> 00:37:53.677 So boys often call it 'trash talk', 905 00:37:53.677 --> 00:37:55.500 and girls often call it 'drama'. 906 00:37:55.500 --> 00:37:57.986 And Danah Boyd has written a very interesting book, 907 00:37:57.986 --> 00:37:59.362 and some work on that. 908 00:37:59.362 --> 00:38:00.749 But they often do call it drama. 909 00:38:00.749 --> 00:38:01.878 And we're finding the same thing. 910 00:38:01.878 --> 00:38:02.679 Kids in grade four. 911 00:38:02.679 --> 00:38:03.917 So they haven't read Danah books 912 00:38:03.917 --> 00:38:05.149 or anybody else's work, 913 00:38:05.149 --> 00:38:06.813 and they say it's drama. 914 00:38:08.773 --> 00:38:10.939 And the Code of Silence is huge. 915 00:38:10.939 --> 00:38:13.855 That, the Code of Silence... 916 00:38:13.855 --> 00:38:15.807 And there's actually some work done 917 00:38:15.807 --> 00:38:18.201 on the point of the Code of Silence. 918 00:38:18.201 --> 00:38:19.641 that if you are... 919 00:38:19.641 --> 00:38:22.200 That's, you know, your child or a youth, 920 00:38:22.200 --> 00:38:24.216 you want to be popular, you want to be cool. 921 00:38:24.216 --> 00:38:26.509 And so you're not going to say anything. 922 00:38:26.509 --> 00:38:28.099 Because if you don't agree with it, 923 00:38:28.099 --> 00:38:29.091 but the dominant ones... 924 00:38:29.091 --> 00:38:31.267 And we know, there used to be a method. 925 00:38:31.267 --> 00:38:32.930 The people who were the perpetrators 926 00:38:32.930 --> 00:38:35.694 were very problemed, had a lot of problems. 927 00:38:35.694 --> 00:38:37.399 They had low self-esteem. 928 00:38:37.399 --> 00:38:39.693 And some of them do, but a lot of them don't. 929 00:38:39.693 --> 00:38:43.415 So we need to, again, be aware of stereotypes. 930 00:38:43.415 --> 00:38:46.625 But that makes it harder for youth to say something. 931 00:38:47.265 --> 00:38:49.096 And fear of retaliation is a big one. 932 00:38:49.096 --> 00:38:50.857 And it's another thing that adults need to know. 933 00:38:50.857 --> 00:38:52.607 Because often, we say to kids, 934 00:38:53.537 --> 00:38:55.699 "Tell, and somebody will help you." 935 00:38:55.699 --> 00:38:57.522 And again, young kids will say, 936 00:38:57.522 --> 00:38:58.983 "Well, they think it'll help. 937 00:38:58.983 --> 00:39:01.255 They don't understand there'll be retaliation." 938 00:39:01.255 --> 00:39:03.453 And they're often right, there will be. 939 00:39:03.453 --> 00:39:04.893 So again, I'm talking to an audience 940 00:39:04.893 --> 00:39:06.951 that understands the importance of validation. 941 00:39:06.951 --> 00:39:10.300 So these kids, they know, and they need that validation. 942 00:39:11.990 --> 00:39:13.308 And a big one that actually 943 00:39:13.308 --> 00:39:15.515 isn't talked a lot about is shame. 944 00:39:15.515 --> 00:39:16.817 The shame of being a victim. 945 00:39:16.817 --> 00:39:17.851 Sometimes people say, 946 00:39:17.851 --> 00:39:20.156 "Will people tell you that they've been a bully?" 947 00:39:20.156 --> 00:39:21.712 And I think in many ways, 948 00:39:21.712 --> 00:39:23.323 it's harder to say you've been a victim. 949 00:39:23.323 --> 00:39:25.030 Because of the shame and humiliation. 950 00:39:25.030 --> 00:39:26.405 And the sense that, 951 00:39:26.405 --> 00:39:28.625 actually, and I remember when I came back from Smith, 952 00:39:28.625 --> 00:39:31.344 and we ran this camp, a therapeutic camp. 953 00:39:31.344 --> 00:39:32.848 So one of the first things I did 954 00:39:32.848 --> 00:39:34.010 in the groups of the camp is, 955 00:39:34.010 --> 00:39:37.317 I asked kids about had they experienced bullying. 956 00:39:37.317 --> 00:39:38.330 And can they... 957 00:39:38.330 --> 00:39:39.719 So some of their answers were, 958 00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:41.772 "Well, I get used to it, it's not so bad." 959 00:39:42.692 --> 00:39:44.335 But other kids would just say things like, 960 00:39:44.335 --> 00:39:46.511 I remember one kid poignantly saying, 961 00:39:46.511 --> 00:39:48.036 but she just said it matter-of-factly, she said, 962 00:39:48.036 --> 00:39:49.636 "Look, when you first meet me, you'll like me. 963 00:39:49.636 --> 00:39:51.246 But then I get very irritating, annoying. 964 00:39:51.246 --> 00:39:52.526 And then you'll bully me." 965 00:39:52.526 --> 00:39:54.084 And so they feel like they're, 966 00:39:54.084 --> 00:39:55.533 and other kids will call themselves, 967 00:39:55.533 --> 00:39:57.273 like, "I'm the kid to be bullied." 968 00:39:57.273 --> 00:40:00.120 So it's a deep sense of shame and humiliation. 969 00:40:00.120 --> 00:40:02.807 And we know it's very hard to talk about that. 970 00:40:04.147 --> 00:40:07.095 And importantly, they don't feel adults can help. 971 00:40:07.095 --> 00:40:08.600 And again, they often say, 972 00:40:08.600 --> 00:40:10.573 they get it, they know that adults want to help, 973 00:40:10.573 --> 00:40:11.810 but they don't feel they can. 974 00:40:12.710 --> 00:40:15.521 And then if they have disclosed, we have to be careful too. 975 00:40:15.521 --> 00:40:18.349 Because often, kids disclose, 976 00:40:18.349 --> 00:40:20.642 and they're more traumatized, or as traumatized, 977 00:40:20.642 --> 00:40:22.348 because the adults don't believe them. 978 00:40:22.348 --> 00:40:24.566 Or they think they have the right answer. 979 00:40:24.566 --> 00:40:26.656 Or they think they contributed somehow. 980 00:40:26.656 --> 00:40:28.183 And that's important because often, 981 00:40:28.183 --> 00:40:30.924 we do know kids who get bullied in a chronic way, 982 00:40:30.924 --> 00:40:33.493 are contributing in the sense of 983 00:40:33.493 --> 00:40:36.053 they have a problem, but they're not doing it deliberately. 984 00:40:36.053 --> 00:40:37.920 And if that's the first message they get, 985 00:40:37.920 --> 00:40:39.691 Again, that's further shaming. 986 00:40:39.691 --> 00:40:41.632 So, and the other thing is, 987 00:40:41.632 --> 00:40:44.076 really important not to promise positive outcomes. 988 00:40:44.076 --> 00:40:46.413 We often say, "Just go tell an adult." 989 00:40:46.413 --> 00:40:49.078 And rather, and so, if they tell an adult 990 00:40:49.078 --> 00:40:51.062 and they don't get help, they feel betrayed. 991 00:40:51.062 --> 00:40:53.504 So rather, we need to say, "Tell an adult, 992 00:40:53.504 --> 00:40:55.254 and if that adult doesn't help you, 993 00:40:55.254 --> 00:40:56.311 go to another adult." 994 00:40:56.311 --> 00:40:57.388 Because the message there is, 995 00:40:57.388 --> 00:40:59.233 "They might not, but keep searching." 996 00:40:59.233 --> 00:41:02.081 And one, I think everybody's probably heard of 997 00:41:02.081 --> 00:41:05.451 the It Gets Better Campaign by Savage. 998 00:41:05.451 --> 00:41:07.701 It was all over TV. 999 00:41:07.701 --> 00:41:09.407 And there's a bit of research on it. 1000 00:41:09.407 --> 00:41:10.837 Because I remember when I first saw it, 1001 00:41:10.837 --> 00:41:12.661 I thought intuitively, I didn't like it. 1002 00:41:12.661 --> 00:41:15.124 Because the implication is, "It will get better." 1003 00:41:15.124 --> 00:41:17.035 Number one, it doesn't always get better. 1004 00:41:17.035 --> 00:41:19.189 That's the thing, it doesn't always get better. 1005 00:41:19.189 --> 00:41:22.409 And this is an adult man telling young kids, 1006 00:41:22.409 --> 00:41:24.222 "It will get better, just wait." 1007 00:41:24.222 --> 00:41:25.994 But if you're 12 years old, how are you going to wait 1008 00:41:25.994 --> 00:41:27.230 for 10 years for it to get better, 1009 00:41:27.230 --> 00:41:28.958 when it's going to happen in the meantime. 1010 00:41:28.958 --> 00:41:32.180 And the other thing is, some kids did take a risk, 1011 00:41:32.180 --> 00:41:34.836 and they did go tell somebody that they were gay. 1012 00:41:34.836 --> 00:41:36.319 And they shouldn't have. 1013 00:41:36.319 --> 00:41:37.545 They were not safe. 1014 00:41:37.545 --> 00:41:42.045 So, their initial hesitance was very well grounded. 1015 00:41:42.045 --> 00:41:45.096 So we need to be really careful in what we promise. 1016 00:41:45.096 --> 00:41:46.845 And rather, we need to be helping, 1017 00:41:46.845 --> 00:41:49.832 giving different options and giving strategies. 1018 00:41:52.042 --> 00:41:53.598 And this is nothing new, 1019 00:41:53.598 --> 00:41:55.528 that the mental health, that one boy, 1020 00:41:55.528 --> 00:41:56.786 this is not in my study, 1021 00:41:56.786 --> 00:41:58.940 but I found it very heartbreaking, 1022 00:41:58.940 --> 00:42:01.821 "Like a thousand paper-cuts eating away at your soul." 1023 00:42:01.821 --> 00:42:03.570 The reason I think that's relevant is because 1024 00:42:03.570 --> 00:42:06.823 often, when it's quote, "minor bullying," 1025 00:42:06.823 --> 00:42:08.327 we say, quote, "minor bullying." 1026 00:42:08.327 --> 00:42:09.477 we say, "Oh, it's not a big deal." 1027 00:42:09.477 --> 00:42:10.898 But again, a thousand paper-cuts. 1028 00:42:10.898 --> 00:42:12.520 We know one paper-cut's not a big deal, 1029 00:42:12.520 --> 00:42:15.337 but a thousand paper-cuts, it's very harmful. 1030 00:42:15.337 --> 00:42:17.741 So we know it can be devastating. 1031 00:42:17.741 --> 00:42:19.933 And we know it's a huge concern. 1032 00:42:20.743 --> 00:42:23.604 And it can affect many areas of a child's life. 1033 00:42:24.074 --> 00:42:25.289 In terms of the impact, 1034 00:42:25.289 --> 00:42:28.739 and a lot of research has shown it really does have impact, 1035 00:42:28.739 --> 00:42:33.047 for victims: sad, anxiety, fear, aggression. 1036 00:42:33.047 --> 00:42:35.918 And it can really become pervasive. 1037 00:42:35.918 --> 00:42:39.469 Depression, suicidal ideation, and of course, suicide. 1038 00:42:39.469 --> 00:42:42.049 And I think it's important that it's not causal, 1039 00:42:42.049 --> 00:42:43.287 that it can be associated. 1040 00:42:43.287 --> 00:42:45.613 And it can be one of the very important factors. 1041 00:42:46.193 --> 00:42:48.437 One of the big problems is academic difficulties 1042 00:42:48.437 --> 00:42:51.584 and school avoidance, and difficulty concentrating. 1043 00:42:51.584 --> 00:42:53.492 And of course, that's important because that's going to 1044 00:42:53.492 --> 00:42:55.495 affect them as they go into adulthood. 1045 00:42:55.495 --> 00:42:58.012 And they can often have social difficulties. 1046 00:42:58.012 --> 00:43:00.285 And avoid social situations. 1047 00:43:00.285 --> 00:43:03.698 And substance use, unsafe sexual behavior, 1048 00:43:03.698 --> 00:43:05.085 and physical health issues. 1049 00:43:05.085 --> 00:43:07.335 Stomach aches, headaches, is very common. 1050 00:43:07.335 --> 00:43:09.959 And the perpetrators also are at risk 1051 00:43:09.959 --> 00:43:12.678 of having low self-esteem and depression. 1052 00:43:12.678 --> 00:43:15.282 And again, we don't know what comes first. 1053 00:43:15.282 --> 00:43:17.713 And substance use and delinquency. 1054 00:43:19.313 --> 00:43:23.108 And kids who are victimized are also more likely 1055 00:43:23.108 --> 00:43:25.370 to be perpetrators, and vice versa. 1056 00:43:25.370 --> 00:43:27.097 And that's more-so with cyber-bullying. 1057 00:43:27.097 --> 00:43:29.413 With traditional bullying, there tended to be three groups: 1058 00:43:29.413 --> 00:43:32.431 The kids who were victims, who were perpetrators, 1059 00:43:32.431 --> 00:43:33.924 and who did both. 1060 00:43:33.924 --> 00:43:36.356 And the ones who did both were the most vulnerable, 1061 00:43:36.356 --> 00:43:37.721 most problematic kids. 1062 00:43:37.721 --> 00:43:39.075 And cyber-bullying, it's different. 1063 00:43:39.075 --> 00:43:40.484 And we found that in our research, 1064 00:43:40.484 --> 00:43:42.009 and others are finding the same. 1065 00:43:42.009 --> 00:43:44.046 That it's much more of a back-and-forth. 1066 00:43:44.046 --> 00:43:45.891 And it becomes, again, harder then, 1067 00:43:45.891 --> 00:43:47.481 to determine what it is. 1068 00:43:47.481 --> 00:43:48.835 But we need to understand that, 1069 00:43:48.835 --> 00:43:50.648 and find out what that does mean. 1070 00:43:53.848 --> 00:43:55.672 And the other thing about cyber-bullying is, 1071 00:43:55.672 --> 00:43:57.176 it can be more frightening. 1072 00:43:57.176 --> 00:44:00.249 Because it's hard to escape. 1073 00:44:01.109 --> 00:44:01.809 And... 1074 00:44:02.289 --> 00:44:04.883 And you don't know, if they don't know who's saying it. 1075 00:44:04.883 --> 00:44:07.912 Traditional bullying is humiliating and scary enough. 1076 00:44:07.912 --> 00:44:09.704 And that's even with a couple kids, 1077 00:44:09.704 --> 00:44:11.410 or a classroom or a school. 1078 00:44:11.410 --> 00:44:14.397 But cyber-bullying, the idea of not knowing who's out there. 1079 00:44:14.397 --> 00:44:16.807 And some kids will even say it could be millions. 1080 00:44:16.807 --> 00:44:20.018 And even if they think it's millions, even if it's not, 1081 00:44:20.018 --> 00:44:21.426 that's what's scary. 1082 00:44:23.556 --> 00:44:26.973 And the hard thing, we can't emphasize enough, 1083 00:44:26.973 --> 00:44:28.554 how they cannot escape it. 1084 00:44:28.554 --> 00:44:30.271 Because their on-line world is critical, 1085 00:44:30.271 --> 00:44:34.164 so we can't tell them to turn it off. 1086 00:44:34.164 --> 00:44:36.586 Because they can't turn off their world. 1087 00:44:40.746 --> 00:44:43.798 And the other last point that's important is that 1088 00:44:43.798 --> 00:44:46.221 some studies have shown that it can affect, 1089 00:44:46.221 --> 00:44:48.301 can cause kids to be more depressed. 1090 00:44:48.301 --> 00:44:50.894 Above and beyond traditional bullying. 1091 00:44:53.524 --> 00:44:55.308 And some of the effects of cyber-bullying, 1092 00:44:55.308 --> 00:44:57.571 although we often talk about the effects on the victims, 1093 00:44:57.571 --> 00:45:01.441 but kids who bully other often are much more significantly 1094 00:45:01.441 --> 00:45:04.566 likely to use substance, substances. 1095 00:45:04.566 --> 00:45:06.785 And to exhibit rule-breaking behaviors, 1096 00:45:06.785 --> 00:45:08.470 aggression, get into trouble. 1097 00:45:08.470 --> 00:45:11.169 And of course, that affects their future trajectory. 1098 00:45:11.169 --> 00:45:14.198 And again, we don't know what's causing, which is causal. 1099 00:45:14.198 --> 00:45:15.382 We have to find that out. 1100 00:45:15.382 --> 00:45:16.950 And it's important too, 1101 00:45:16.950 --> 00:45:19.446 because it changes with age for both. 1102 00:45:19.446 --> 00:45:22.379 So the aggressor, when they're younger, 1103 00:45:22.379 --> 00:45:26.752 might become aggressive in dating, sexual harassment, 1104 00:45:26.752 --> 00:45:28.864 work harassment, criminality. 1105 00:45:28.864 --> 00:45:30.324 And the kids who are victimized, 1106 00:45:30.324 --> 00:45:31.721 we need to remember that too, 1107 00:45:31.721 --> 00:45:33.287 if they don't get the help they need 1108 00:45:33.287 --> 00:45:34.401 and don't get the message that they need, 1109 00:45:34.401 --> 00:45:37.454 they might be more likely to be victims later with that too. 1110 00:45:38.224 --> 00:45:39.913 And bit a about shame and humiliation. 1111 00:45:39.913 --> 00:45:41.994 There's very little on that and that's critical. 1112 00:45:41.994 --> 00:45:44.064 Because I really do think that's a big piece. 1113 00:45:44.064 --> 00:45:46.378 And we know that humiliation can be 1114 00:45:46.378 --> 00:45:48.980 associated with devastating consequences. 1115 00:45:48.980 --> 00:45:51.273 And it can increase thoughts of self-annihilation. 1116 00:45:51.273 --> 00:45:53.609 And the thing about the internet is, 1117 00:45:53.609 --> 00:45:55.710 on/off in kids, a lot of... 1118 00:45:55.710 --> 00:45:57.758 I have found this, and there's a lot written about it, 1119 00:45:57.758 --> 00:46:00.179 That kids will automatically, 1120 00:46:00.179 --> 00:46:02.493 when they turn on their computer or their cell phone, 1121 00:46:02.493 --> 00:46:04.315 will automatically go looking for 1122 00:46:04.315 --> 00:46:06.749 what that horrible thing was about them. 1123 00:46:06.749 --> 00:46:09.064 They just want to see if it's out there. 1124 00:46:09.064 --> 00:46:10.504 And of course, it is out there. 1125 00:46:10.504 --> 00:46:12.274 And one of the police that I work with 1126 00:46:12.274 --> 00:46:14.547 said that that's the number one request, 1127 00:46:14.547 --> 00:46:15.974 and he said that's more than a request, 1128 00:46:15.974 --> 00:46:18.566 that parents and kids beg them to take it off. 1129 00:46:18.566 --> 00:46:20.410 So the problem is, they can try to take it off, 1130 00:46:20.410 --> 00:46:23.344 but it can't be taken off because somebody else has it. 1131 00:46:25.764 --> 00:46:27.706 And we need to remember that the cyber world 1132 00:46:27.706 --> 00:46:30.608 can intensify the shame and humiliation. 1133 00:46:30.608 --> 00:46:32.688 And it can make that feel unbearable. 1134 00:46:34.878 --> 00:46:37.583 And that... 1135 00:46:37.583 --> 00:46:42.020 I guess I can't stress enough that then when kids 1136 00:46:42.020 --> 00:46:44.675 do come to adults, or adults find out 1137 00:46:44.675 --> 00:46:46.692 even if kids didn't tell them, 1138 00:46:46.692 --> 00:46:49.817 the adult's response is critically important. 1139 00:46:49.817 --> 00:46:51.502 And that's another place where I think 1140 00:46:51.502 --> 00:46:53.400 social workers are really, you know, important. 1141 00:46:53.400 --> 00:46:56.855 Because we understand the importance of validation, 1142 00:46:56.855 --> 00:46:59.470 working with a child, and where they're at. 1143 00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:02.562 In terms of if there is trauma, 1144 00:47:02.562 --> 00:47:05.750 not all bullying is related to, feels traumatic, 1145 00:47:05.750 --> 00:47:06.955 but it can. 1146 00:47:06.955 --> 00:47:08.128 There's three different kinds. 1147 00:47:08.128 --> 00:47:10.145 There's the actual behaviors 1148 00:47:10.145 --> 00:47:11.723 that are happening to the child. 1149 00:47:11.723 --> 00:47:13.292 And then there's the internal victimization. 1150 00:47:13.292 --> 00:47:15.093 Where the child, actually themselves, 1151 00:47:15.093 --> 00:47:17.515 blame themselves, feel they deserve it. 1152 00:47:17.515 --> 00:47:19.670 And then there's the cyclical process. 1153 00:47:19.670 --> 00:47:20.885 Where they're expecting it. 1154 00:47:20.885 --> 00:47:22.944 So even when we're talking about repetition, 1155 00:47:22.944 --> 00:47:23.914 there's been some talk. 1156 00:47:23.914 --> 00:47:26.499 And often, repetition's considered to be actual 1157 00:47:26.499 --> 00:47:29.449 repeated events where you're bullied. 1158 00:47:29.449 --> 00:47:31.595 but sometimes there's only one event, 1159 00:47:31.595 --> 00:47:33.728 but the child's expecting it to be repeated. 1160 00:47:33.728 --> 00:47:36.244 And hope, and thinking about that. 1161 00:47:36.244 --> 00:47:38.218 So that's critical too. 1162 00:47:38.218 --> 00:47:39.944 And then after the victimization, 1163 00:47:39.944 --> 00:47:42.643 with traditional bullying, after the victimization, 1164 00:47:42.643 --> 00:47:44.412 the child would often continue 1165 00:47:44.412 --> 00:47:47.133 to feel bad about themselves and blame themselves. 1166 00:47:47.133 --> 00:47:48.712 And there's the on-going effects. 1167 00:47:48.712 --> 00:47:50.866 In traditional bullying, it's 1168 00:47:50.866 --> 00:47:52.573 that they if were going to get help, 1169 00:47:52.573 --> 00:47:54.343 they could kind of work that through. 1170 00:47:54.343 --> 00:47:56.507 In cyber-bullying, that's more complicated. 1171 00:47:56.507 --> 00:47:59.003 Because on one hand, it happened. 1172 00:47:59.003 --> 00:48:01.318 On the other hand, it's alive on the internet. 1173 00:48:01.318 --> 00:48:02.662 So it's still real. 1174 00:48:02.662 --> 00:48:04.464 And we can't negate that. 1175 00:48:04.464 --> 00:48:06.704 And so the challenge is to work with that. 1176 00:48:06.704 --> 00:48:08.528 And somebody did a research study recently, 1177 00:48:08.528 --> 00:48:13.327 talking with therapists who were really trained with working 1178 00:48:13.327 --> 00:48:14.672 with kids who have been traumatized. 1179 00:48:14.672 --> 00:48:17.829 And then, when they had any experiences with kids 1180 00:48:17.829 --> 00:48:20.666 who were traumatized sexually on-line, 1181 00:48:20.666 --> 00:48:22.884 they felt completely out of their depth. 1182 00:48:22.884 --> 00:48:24.100 Even though they had worked with 1183 00:48:24.100 --> 00:48:27.215 the most horrific sexual abuse cases off-line, 1184 00:48:27.215 --> 00:48:29.668 the part that really threw them, on-line, 1185 00:48:29.668 --> 00:48:31.087 was the part that it was always there. 1186 00:48:31.087 --> 00:48:32.761 The permanent image. 1187 00:48:34.841 --> 00:48:36.203 And a little bit about gender. 1188 00:48:36.203 --> 00:48:37.931 The reason I'm going to talk a bit about gender is, 1189 00:48:37.931 --> 00:48:40.085 in our study, one of the things we found 1190 00:48:40.085 --> 00:48:41.748 that was unanticipated, and again, 1191 00:48:41.748 --> 00:48:43.168 it's just preliminary, 1192 00:48:43.168 --> 00:48:45.268 is we really found a difference that's gender. 1193 00:48:45.268 --> 00:48:48.479 And actually, with traditional bullying, 1194 00:48:48.479 --> 00:48:50.389 there's a difference with gender. 1195 00:48:50.389 --> 00:48:54.356 When bullying first started getting studied, 1196 00:48:54.356 --> 00:48:56.202 everyone thought that boys were 1197 00:48:56.202 --> 00:48:57.791 much more involved in bullying. 1198 00:48:57.791 --> 00:48:59.497 And then some people said, 1199 00:48:59.497 --> 00:49:01.332 "What about relational bullying?" 1200 00:49:01.332 --> 00:49:03.849 Because girls were often just described as, 1201 00:49:03.849 --> 00:49:06.473 "They're bitchy, this is what they're like." 1202 00:49:06.473 --> 00:49:08.777 Rather than realizing, this is not what they're like, 1203 00:49:08.777 --> 00:49:12.670 this is not their persons, this how they are aggressive. 1204 00:49:12.670 --> 00:49:15.944 So then we realized that boys tend to bully 1205 00:49:15.944 --> 00:49:18.323 in direct aggressive ways. 1206 00:49:18.323 --> 00:49:20.925 And girls tend to bully in indirect aggressive ways. 1207 00:49:20.925 --> 00:49:23.219 Not always, but that's the tendency. 1208 00:49:23.219 --> 00:49:26.033 So one of the questions is, in cyber-bullying, 1209 00:49:26.033 --> 00:49:27.079 how does that look? 1210 00:49:27.079 --> 00:49:30.023 And we were looking at the underlying motivations. 1211 00:49:30.023 --> 00:49:32.178 We didn't have this on our radar, 1212 00:49:32.178 --> 00:49:35.356 but I'll talk a little bit about this 1213 00:49:35.356 --> 00:49:36.597 and then I'll show my results. 1214 00:49:36.597 --> 00:49:40.191 But that, for girls, it really is sexualized. 1215 00:49:40.191 --> 00:49:42.283 And we have to put that in the context 1216 00:49:42.283 --> 00:49:45.066 of a world that's really sexualized, in terms of girls. 1217 00:49:45.066 --> 00:49:47.488 There's often rumors spreading about girls. 1218 00:49:47.488 --> 00:49:50.388 And it's really a tremendous amount of ridiculing 1219 00:49:50.388 --> 00:49:52.245 and demeaning their appearance. 1220 00:49:52.245 --> 00:49:55.882 And often, spreading rumors about them, sexually. 1221 00:49:56.662 --> 00:49:59.421 Some research has found that boys tend to spread rumors 1222 00:49:59.421 --> 00:50:00.541 because it's a way, 1223 00:50:00.541 --> 00:50:01.917 if they're attracted to the girl, 1224 00:50:01.917 --> 00:50:04.786 it's a way to make the girl more acceptable, 1225 00:50:04.786 --> 00:50:06.962 more closer, more approachable. 1226 00:50:06.962 --> 00:50:09.340 And the girls might spread rumors about girls 1227 00:50:09.340 --> 00:50:11.698 because they're in competition. 1228 00:50:14.908 --> 00:50:17.308 And girls experience the victimization 1229 00:50:17.308 --> 00:50:19.281 of cyber-bullying, for sure. 1230 00:50:19.281 --> 00:50:21.959 It's often related to sexual behavior and appearance. 1231 00:50:21.959 --> 00:50:23.217 And that's absolutely critical. 1232 00:50:23.217 --> 00:50:24.945 And they're not really talking about that. 1233 00:50:24.945 --> 00:50:27.590 So again, where we have, a tragedy happens, 1234 00:50:27.590 --> 00:50:29.745 and then we all hear about it. 1235 00:50:29.745 --> 00:50:31.601 And then we forget about it it, 1236 00:50:31.601 --> 00:50:32.859 it goes off the radar screen. 1237 00:50:32.859 --> 00:50:36.104 But it's happening on a daily basis with them. 1238 00:50:37.754 --> 00:50:40.944 And there's been a lot of research that shows 1239 00:50:40.944 --> 00:50:42.640 that with bullying, with what we call bullying 1240 00:50:42.640 --> 00:50:44.965 or sexual harassment, whatever we call it. 1241 00:50:44.965 --> 00:50:48.069 That happens early for girls, and it's pervasive. 1242 00:50:48.069 --> 00:50:51.193 In fact, a couple of research articles have said 1243 00:50:51.193 --> 00:50:54.821 that school is like one of the most unsafe places for girls. 1244 00:50:54.821 --> 00:50:58.009 And it often occurs in the presence of others. 1245 00:50:58.009 --> 00:50:59.365 And it's left unaddressed. 1246 00:50:59.365 --> 00:51:01.540 And it's not that the presence of adults, 1247 00:51:01.540 --> 00:51:03.674 it's not that the adults don't care. 1248 00:51:03.674 --> 00:51:05.689 It's that the adults either don't see it 1249 00:51:05.689 --> 00:51:07.225 or they don't define it that way. 1250 00:51:07.225 --> 00:51:08.324 In my study, 1251 00:51:08.324 --> 00:51:11.289 not on cyber-bullying, but on traditional bullying, 1252 00:51:11.289 --> 00:51:13.326 there were some situations with girls in grade four 1253 00:51:13.326 --> 00:51:15.758 where either a teacher or parent talked about 1254 00:51:15.758 --> 00:51:19.277 the girl having been upset by what the boys 1255 00:51:19.277 --> 00:51:21.635 were doing to her, touching her breasts, 1256 00:51:21.635 --> 00:51:24.334 doing sexual kinds of things in the class. 1257 00:51:24.334 --> 00:51:25.880 And in both cases, 1258 00:51:25.880 --> 00:51:28.109 these are very concerned mothers and teachers 1259 00:51:28.109 --> 00:51:29.635 who said things like, 1260 00:51:29.635 --> 00:51:31.448 "It's just that they're so adorable, 1261 00:51:31.448 --> 00:51:33.229 and the boys just really like them." 1262 00:51:33.229 --> 00:51:34.456 And it was often not until 1263 00:51:34.456 --> 00:51:36.642 they were doing it in the interview 1264 00:51:36.642 --> 00:51:37.698 that they heard themselves. 1265 00:51:37.698 --> 00:51:38.775 That they became quite upset. 1266 00:51:38.775 --> 00:51:39.735 And there was one teacher 1267 00:51:39.735 --> 00:51:40.994 where I actually had to stop the interview, 1268 00:51:40.994 --> 00:51:42.294 because she became so upset 1269 00:51:42.294 --> 00:51:44.791 when she realized what she had missed. 1270 00:51:44.791 --> 00:51:46.626 So it's just that, they're in grade four. 1271 00:51:46.626 --> 00:51:48.695 They just hadn't thought about it that way. 1272 00:51:48.695 --> 00:51:51.169 But it's important, again, 1273 00:51:51.169 --> 00:51:53.555 and the challenge is how to think about it that way. 1274 00:51:53.555 --> 00:51:56.883 And how to intervene, but not in an overly reactive way. 1275 00:51:56.883 --> 00:51:59.239 Because again, we don't want to shame and humiliate them. 1276 00:51:59.239 --> 00:52:00.488 But how to give the message. 1277 00:52:00.488 --> 00:52:01.619 Because if don't do anything, 1278 00:52:01.619 --> 00:52:02.877 the message the girls are getting 1279 00:52:02.877 --> 00:52:04.050 is that this is OK. 1280 00:52:04.050 --> 00:52:06.311 If a boy likes you, this is how he can do it. 1281 00:52:06.311 --> 00:52:09.256 And the message the boy's getting is also that it's OK. 1282 00:52:09.256 --> 00:52:10.983 And that's the time to intervene. 1283 00:52:10.983 --> 00:52:15.314 The challenge is to do that in a way that's subtle but firm. 1284 00:52:17.424 --> 00:52:20.594 And the kinds of things that girls experience, 1285 00:52:20.594 --> 00:52:21.649 girls and young women, 1286 00:52:21.649 --> 00:52:23.335 but we're just talking about the girls here, 1287 00:52:23.335 --> 00:52:26.001 threats of sexual violence, doctored photographs, 1288 00:52:26.001 --> 00:52:28.486 publishing personal information with invitations 1289 00:52:28.486 --> 00:52:29.723 to abuse the victims. 1290 00:52:29.723 --> 00:52:31.077 Now, I'm not going into this here 1291 00:52:31.077 --> 00:52:33.606 because it's not the purpose. 1292 00:52:33.606 --> 00:52:37.613 But one the areas that we have not heard about 1293 00:52:37.613 --> 00:52:40.728 yet in the world, is the kind of sexual violence 1294 00:52:40.728 --> 00:52:44.098 that a lot of women experience on-line, that's pervasive. 1295 00:52:44.098 --> 00:52:45.741 And these are adult women. 1296 00:52:45.741 --> 00:52:47.798 And many of them actually go off-line, 1297 00:52:47.798 --> 00:52:49.783 because they're not safe there. 1298 00:52:49.783 --> 00:52:53.527 And it's interesting to me that it's just not heard, 1299 00:52:53.527 --> 00:52:55.009 we don't talk about that. 1300 00:52:55.009 --> 00:52:56.823 But that's another area. 1301 00:52:56.823 --> 00:52:58.732 So back to girls. 1302 00:52:58.732 --> 00:53:00.236 So when we think about these girls, 1303 00:53:00.236 --> 00:53:01.772 and these are young girls, 1304 00:53:01.772 --> 00:53:05.718 they're navigating the context of the world, 1305 00:53:05.718 --> 00:53:07.529 and then what they experience. 1306 00:53:07.529 --> 00:53:09.801 So they live in an environment, 1307 00:53:09.801 --> 00:53:11.902 the media, celebrities, 1308 00:53:11.902 --> 00:53:15.411 where it's glamorized and they're pressured 1309 00:53:15.411 --> 00:53:18.419 to be popular, to party, and to be sexually attractive. 1310 00:53:18.419 --> 00:53:21.182 Like on Facebook, all the pictures, the pose. 1311 00:53:21.182 --> 00:53:22.463 And there's actually a lot of 1312 00:53:22.463 --> 00:53:25.736 literature on how they pose in a certain way. 1313 00:53:25.736 --> 00:53:26.899 And how they take a long time 1314 00:53:26.899 --> 00:53:28.724 trying to figure out the right pose. 1315 00:53:28.724 --> 00:53:30.333 But their experience is, 1316 00:53:30.333 --> 00:53:33.640 they're rejected or punished for being slutty. 1317 00:53:33.640 --> 00:53:35.392 And 'slutty' is very important 1318 00:53:35.392 --> 00:53:38.421 because that's a new word, that's an old word, 1319 00:53:38.421 --> 00:53:40.395 but it's right back. 1320 00:53:40.395 --> 00:53:41.976 It's used a lot. 1321 00:53:42.846 --> 00:53:44.869 And they're pressured to 'self-objectivize'. 1322 00:53:44.869 --> 00:53:47.013 So like I said, they're pressured to find, 1323 00:53:47.013 --> 00:53:49.520 and they often talk about how they spend hours, 1324 00:53:49.520 --> 00:53:52.037 and hundreds of pictures until they find the right picture. 1325 00:53:52.037 --> 00:53:54.884 But they're criticized for trying too hard. 1326 00:53:54.884 --> 00:53:57.743 And they're blamed for being sexually harassed on-line. 1327 00:53:57.743 --> 00:53:59.290 That's their experience. 1328 00:53:59.290 --> 00:54:02.298 And they're pressured to sent explicit images 1329 00:54:02.298 --> 00:54:04.751 of themselves to boys and men. 1330 00:54:04.751 --> 00:54:08.068 So, like Laurel, like Amanda Todd, like many. 1331 00:54:08.848 --> 00:54:10.660 And what's important is they're criticized 1332 00:54:10.660 --> 00:54:12.584 for taking these pictures. 1333 00:54:12.584 --> 00:54:14.841 And they're blamed for sharing them. 1334 00:54:14.841 --> 00:54:17.154 And I'll talk about that later in my study, 1335 00:54:17.154 --> 00:54:19.064 because we found the same thing. 1336 00:54:19.064 --> 00:54:21.700 And it's a culture where girls are harshly, 1337 00:54:21.700 --> 00:54:23.893 judge each other for that as well. 1338 00:54:23.893 --> 00:54:25.865 So they're criticized for wearing either 1339 00:54:25.865 --> 00:54:27.481 too much or too little. 1340 00:54:27.481 --> 00:54:30.131 And again, we have to think about, that's the context. 1341 00:54:30.131 --> 00:54:31.259 And the reason it's important, 1342 00:54:31.259 --> 00:54:32.519 and it's the reason I always feel like 1343 00:54:32.519 --> 00:54:33.828 social workers need to be involved 1344 00:54:33.828 --> 00:54:36.825 is we're aware of the individual propensities, 1345 00:54:36.825 --> 00:54:40.398 children's strengths, vulnerabilities, their family issues. 1346 00:54:40.398 --> 00:54:44.387 But also the societal discrimination and messages 1347 00:54:44.387 --> 00:54:46.456 that seep down and affect everybody. 1348 00:54:46.456 --> 00:54:49.507 And to deal with this, we can't just deal with the kids. 1349 00:54:49.507 --> 00:54:51.330 So, when we talk about somebody sending 1350 00:54:51.330 --> 00:54:53.976 a photo of a girl, we have to deal with that. 1351 00:54:53.976 --> 00:54:55.309 But we have to deal with the fact that 1352 00:54:55.309 --> 00:54:56.877 that's part of the whole culture. 1353 00:54:58.137 --> 00:54:59.949 And so, image based cyber-bullying, 1354 00:54:59.949 --> 00:55:01.762 there's very little on that. 1355 00:55:01.762 --> 00:55:03.274 But one research showed that 1356 00:55:04.564 --> 00:55:05.833 one in ten participants, 1357 00:55:05.833 --> 00:55:08.127 and these were kids in, I guess, high school, 1358 00:55:08.127 --> 00:55:09.630 in grades 11 and 12, 1359 00:55:09.630 --> 00:55:12.509 had been involved in image-based bullying. 1360 00:55:12.509 --> 00:55:14.302 Either as a perpetrator or a victim. 1361 00:55:14.302 --> 00:55:16.318 So when you think about that, that's one in ten. 1362 00:55:16.318 --> 00:55:17.480 That's a lot. 1363 00:55:17.480 --> 00:55:20.510 And in most of the cases, they knew each other. 1364 00:55:20.510 --> 00:55:23.045 Which fits all of the research. 1365 00:55:23.795 --> 00:55:27.304 And both boys and girls were equally likely 1366 00:55:27.304 --> 00:55:28.829 to be victimized. 1367 00:55:28.829 --> 00:55:31.208 But boys were more likely to be the perpetrator. 1368 00:55:31.718 --> 00:55:33.135 The National Campaign to Prevent 1369 00:55:33.135 --> 00:55:34.437 Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 1370 00:55:34.437 --> 00:55:37.178 they found that 22% of girls and 18% of boys 1371 00:55:37.178 --> 00:55:39.108 have sent nude or semi-nude pictures 1372 00:55:39.108 --> 00:55:40.899 and videos of themselves. 1373 00:55:40.899 --> 00:55:43.193 Usually it's to somebody important to them. 1374 00:55:44.373 --> 00:55:46.200 But it can be to somebody they know 1375 00:55:46.200 --> 00:55:48.292 on-line and not off-line. 1376 00:55:49.022 --> 00:55:52.388 And of course, it can affect many aspects of their lives. 1377 00:55:52.388 --> 00:55:55.159 They also found, which again, this fits with the other, 1378 00:55:55.159 --> 00:55:57.474 what I said about kids understanding the risk, 1379 00:55:57.474 --> 00:55:58.562 that we often say, 1380 00:55:58.562 --> 00:56:01.377 "Well, you know, let them know of the dangers." 1381 00:56:01.377 --> 00:56:03.500 Well, these kids between 13 and 19, 1382 00:56:03.500 --> 00:56:06.135 they're conflicted, they know it's problematic to do it. 1383 00:56:06.135 --> 00:56:08.864 They know it might get out, and they do it anyways. 1384 00:56:08.864 --> 00:56:10.369 And the reason we need to know that is 1385 00:56:10.369 --> 00:56:13.003 it means that the way we need to intervene and help them, 1386 00:56:13.003 --> 00:56:15.019 it's not just pure education. 1387 00:56:15.019 --> 00:56:17.216 We need to deal with the larger context. 1388 00:56:17.216 --> 00:56:19.040 We need to deal the more complex things. 1389 00:56:19.040 --> 00:56:20.864 Because even though they know it, they do it. 1390 00:56:21.924 --> 00:56:25.119 And over half of girls say they felt pressured from a boy. 1391 00:56:25.119 --> 00:56:27.392 And some of them talk about feeling worn down. 1392 00:56:27.392 --> 00:56:30.581 And they're also pressured by friends. 1393 00:56:30.581 --> 00:56:34.751 And some of them create sexy photos, 1394 00:56:34.751 --> 00:56:37.237 and some of them do it as a joke. 1395 00:56:38.217 --> 00:56:39.999 And we often talk about kids. 1396 00:56:39.999 --> 00:56:41.386 The message often is like, 1397 00:56:41.386 --> 00:56:42.538 "What is it with kids?" 1398 00:56:42.538 --> 00:56:43.903 But there's recently, 1399 00:56:43.903 --> 00:56:46.548 there's starting to be some research in young adults. 1400 00:56:46.548 --> 00:56:50.142 And the statistics are even greater for them. 1401 00:56:50.142 --> 00:56:51.753 And one thing I just wanted to mention, 1402 00:56:51.753 --> 00:56:52.884 in terms of the normality is, 1403 00:56:52.884 --> 00:56:55.528 there's a TV show called 'Homeland'. 1404 00:56:55.528 --> 00:56:57.481 Is that, the people watch that? 1405 00:56:57.481 --> 00:57:00.467 There's one scene where Dana, I think she's 14, 1406 00:57:00.467 --> 00:57:02.310 she comes home, she was put in a mental institute 1407 00:57:02.310 --> 00:57:04.004 for awhile because she's feeling depressed. 1408 00:57:04.004 --> 00:57:05.920 And she gets very connected to a boy. 1409 00:57:05.920 --> 00:57:08.374 Comes home, is not happy at home. 1410 00:57:08.374 --> 00:57:10.454 So the first night she comes home, she feels alienated. 1411 00:57:10.454 --> 00:57:14.560 She goes into her room, takes her cell, takes off her top, 1412 00:57:14.560 --> 00:57:16.470 and sends a picture to her boyfriend. 1413 00:57:16.470 --> 00:57:18.345 So what was striking about that is, 1414 00:57:18.345 --> 00:57:19.774 so it's now in the media. 1415 00:57:19.774 --> 00:57:22.554 Because everybody, you know, people were upset about it. 1416 00:57:22.554 --> 00:57:24.090 But there it is in the media. 1417 00:57:24.090 --> 00:57:25.519 And there was no cautionary tale. 1418 00:57:25.519 --> 00:57:27.919 Nothing happened, he didn't do anything with it. 1419 00:57:27.919 --> 00:57:29.850 So it just becomes part of the norm. 1420 00:57:29.850 --> 00:57:32.367 So when it's like that, a 14 year old girl 1421 00:57:32.367 --> 00:57:33.945 or a 14 year old boy watching it, 1422 00:57:33.945 --> 00:57:35.492 that can be acceptable. 1423 00:57:35.492 --> 00:57:36.911 And the other thing struck me is, 1424 00:57:36.911 --> 00:57:39.620 because I'm so hyper-alert to this, because of my research, 1425 00:57:39.620 --> 00:57:41.729 I was watching that episode with a few people, 1426 00:57:41.729 --> 00:57:43.614 they hadn't even noticed it. 1427 00:57:43.614 --> 00:57:44.990 They hadn't even noticed it. 1428 00:57:44.990 --> 00:57:47.362 It was just part of what happens. 1429 00:57:48.602 --> 00:57:50.739 So a little bit about my current study. 1430 00:57:50.739 --> 00:57:52.222 It's a three year study 1431 00:57:52.222 --> 00:57:54.963 with 19 schools in Toronto. 1432 00:57:55.803 --> 00:57:57.757 And it's both surveys... 1433 00:57:57.757 --> 00:58:01.832 We're looking at their, the digital experience. 1434 00:58:01.832 --> 00:58:05.011 How, their experience with cyber-bullying. 1435 00:58:05.011 --> 00:58:07.634 And then also, we're looking at their social support. 1436 00:58:07.634 --> 00:58:09.822 Their self-esteem and their relationships. 1437 00:58:09.822 --> 00:58:11.208 And we also, in the study, 1438 00:58:11.208 --> 00:58:13.949 have included their parents and their teachers. 1439 00:58:13.949 --> 00:58:16.328 But we haven't analyzed any of that yet. 1440 00:58:16.328 --> 00:58:18.064 So I'm just going to talk a little about 1441 00:58:18.064 --> 00:58:21.170 some tentative qualitative findings. 1442 00:58:22.630 --> 00:58:26.012 So again, 19 schools, more females. 1443 00:58:26.012 --> 00:58:27.218 Toronto. 1444 00:58:28.608 --> 00:58:31.082 They're pretty evenly distributed 1445 00:58:31.082 --> 00:58:32.947 between four, seven, and ten. 1446 00:58:34.027 --> 00:58:35.784 Two thirds of them were born in Canada. 1447 00:58:35.784 --> 00:58:37.757 It really does, when we looked at it, 1448 00:58:37.757 --> 00:58:40.573 the demographics were pretty close to Toronto. 1449 00:58:40.573 --> 00:58:43.505 8% identify as having a disability. 1450 00:58:43.505 --> 00:58:45.469 Toronto schools are divided 1451 00:58:45.469 --> 00:58:47.420 into low, medium, and high needs. 1452 00:58:47.420 --> 00:58:48.646 so they were pretty representative. 1453 00:58:48.646 --> 00:58:50.066 And we sampled on that basis. 1454 00:58:50.066 --> 00:58:52.080 We wanted to get the representation. 1455 00:58:52.080 --> 00:58:54.414 So some of the questions, the background questions. 1456 00:58:54.414 --> 00:58:56.622 How many hours they spent on-line. 1457 00:58:56.622 --> 00:58:59.406 Naturally, the older kids spend more time on-line. 1458 00:58:59.406 --> 00:59:00.398 But eve kids in grade four 1459 00:59:00.398 --> 00:59:03.224 spent an average of 1.4 hours on-line. 1460 00:59:03.224 --> 00:59:06.616 The prevalence, we asked about traditional and cyber, 1461 00:59:06.616 --> 00:59:09.772 and similar to other research, the cyber was less. 1462 00:59:09.772 --> 00:59:12.589 And much more as a witness. 1463 00:59:12.589 --> 00:59:14.835 So many more kids have witnessed it. 1464 00:59:14.835 --> 00:59:16.747 Another question we asked is how often, 1465 00:59:16.747 --> 00:59:19.350 how many of them owned cells. 1466 00:59:19.350 --> 00:59:21.867 And of course, it's higher by grade. 1467 00:59:21.867 --> 00:59:23.414 But kids in grade four, 1468 00:59:23.414 --> 00:59:26.155 a significant percentage of them own a cell phone. 1469 00:59:26.755 --> 00:59:30.204 And victimization, again, it goes down. 1470 00:59:30.204 --> 00:59:33.117 As traditional, it goes down by grade. 1471 00:59:33.857 --> 00:59:35.684 One very interesting finding we found 1472 00:59:35.684 --> 00:59:39.353 is that the parents and teachers reported that their kids, 1473 00:59:39.353 --> 00:59:42.969 and the students, were involved more than the kids were, 1474 00:59:42.969 --> 00:59:44.686 than the kids said they were. 1475 00:59:44.686 --> 00:59:46.676 So again, that's why it's important to kind of 1476 00:59:46.676 --> 00:59:47.961 get what they're saying. 1477 00:59:47.961 --> 00:59:48.661 And part of that might be 1478 00:59:48.661 --> 00:59:51.426 that the kids are not defining it as bullying. 1479 00:59:51.976 --> 00:59:53.433 And same as teachers. 1480 00:59:54.843 --> 00:59:57.144 An interesting finding that I think was disturbing, 1481 00:59:57.144 --> 00:59:59.927 but it talks about the need to educate adults, 1482 00:59:59.927 --> 01:00:03.265 is the kids, they did not differ, 1483 01:00:03.265 --> 01:00:04.886 boys and girls did not differ, in terms of 1484 01:00:04.886 --> 01:00:06.731 how much they said they were bullied 1485 01:00:06.731 --> 01:00:08.546 or bullied others on-line. 1486 01:00:08.546 --> 01:00:10.209 It was pretty equivalent. 1487 01:00:10.209 --> 01:00:12.204 When teachers and parents were asked, 1488 01:00:12.204 --> 01:00:14.806 the teachers, almost half of them thought 1489 01:00:14.806 --> 01:00:15.905 that there was a difference. 1490 01:00:15.905 --> 01:00:17.900 And out of all those, they all thought 1491 01:00:17.900 --> 01:00:19.894 girls bullied more on-line. 1492 01:00:19.894 --> 01:00:21.761 And parents, not quite as many, 1493 01:00:21.761 --> 01:00:23.937 but it was still pretty significant. 1494 01:00:23.937 --> 01:00:27.350 So again, that says that we really need to sort that out. 1495 01:00:27.350 --> 01:00:29.056 Give the education. 1496 01:00:29.766 --> 01:00:32.331 One of the questions we asked is whether they felt safe. 1497 01:00:32.331 --> 01:00:34.059 And they pretty much felt safe. 1498 01:00:34.059 --> 01:00:35.295 Which is interesting. 1499 01:00:36.325 --> 01:00:38.688 When we asked whether they would tell, 1500 01:00:38.688 --> 01:00:41.663 girls were more likely to tell adults and others, 1501 01:00:41.663 --> 01:00:43.584 although none of them were very likely. 1502 01:00:43.584 --> 01:00:45.961 And how often, how likely they were 1503 01:00:45.961 --> 01:00:48.543 to encourage the victimized kid to tell somebody. 1504 01:00:48.543 --> 01:00:50.911 And girls are more likely to. 1505 01:00:51.701 --> 01:00:54.388 So when ask about some of the behaviors, 1506 01:00:55.598 --> 01:00:58.138 in terms of embarrassing photos, 1507 01:00:58.138 --> 01:01:00.719 so quite a lot presented. 1508 01:01:00.719 --> 01:01:03.845 Said that they had embarrassing photos sent of them. 1509 01:01:03.845 --> 01:01:06.149 And that they had mean things said to them. 1510 01:01:08.209 --> 01:01:11.427 Posted pictures of them that were embarrassing. 1511 01:01:11.427 --> 01:01:12.386 And this is significant, 1512 01:01:12.386 --> 01:01:15.313 they're more likely to do it in the higher grades. 1513 01:01:15.313 --> 01:01:19.185 But 8.1% is still pretty significant in grade four. 1514 01:01:19.185 --> 01:01:21.340 And making web pages that were mean, 1515 01:01:21.340 --> 01:01:23.515 kids in grade four were more likely to do that. 1516 01:01:23.515 --> 01:01:24.795 And spreading rumors. 1517 01:01:24.795 --> 01:01:27.281 So these are all things that happened. 1518 01:01:28.471 --> 01:01:31.003 One question was whether they have on-line friends 1519 01:01:31.003 --> 01:01:32.187 that they haven't met in real life. 1520 01:01:32.187 --> 01:01:34.501 And again, they're more likely to do that 1521 01:01:34.501 --> 01:01:36.956 if they were in the higher grades. 1522 01:01:36.956 --> 01:01:38.917 But even kids in grade four were, 1523 01:01:38.917 --> 01:01:41.552 had a significant number of them 1524 01:01:41.552 --> 01:01:44.155 had friends on-line that they did not have off-line. 1525 01:01:46.285 --> 01:01:48.986 This question we asked only for grades seven and ten, 1526 01:01:48.986 --> 01:01:50.810 because ethics wouldn't let us grade four. 1527 01:01:50.810 --> 01:01:54.852 But 15% had seen nude or sexual photos of their friends, 1528 01:01:54.852 --> 01:01:58.916 family, boyfriend or girlfriend, or other romantic partner. 1529 01:02:05.056 --> 01:02:08.687 One unanticipated result is 1530 01:02:08.687 --> 01:02:11.150 that with students in distress, 1531 01:02:11.150 --> 01:02:12.804 in any research protocol, 1532 01:02:12.804 --> 01:02:14.392 especially with vulnerable youth, 1533 01:02:14.392 --> 01:02:18.254 you have to set up a process to identify 1534 01:02:18.254 --> 01:02:20.205 kids who might be in distress. 1535 01:02:20.205 --> 01:02:22.637 And who might become more in distress 1536 01:02:22.637 --> 01:02:23.821 because of the study. 1537 01:02:23.821 --> 01:02:25.005 And so what we did is, 1538 01:02:25.005 --> 01:02:28.057 we set that up so that we had a few questions 1539 01:02:28.057 --> 01:02:30.083 that identified kids who were in distress. 1540 01:02:30.083 --> 01:02:32.258 Or they scored a certain amount. 1541 01:02:32.258 --> 01:02:33.560 And we also gave them an option 1542 01:02:33.560 --> 01:02:35.245 to say they wanted to talk to somebody. 1543 01:02:35.245 --> 01:02:36.748 And then we'd have a research assistant 1544 01:02:36.748 --> 01:02:38.147 who was a social work student. 1545 01:02:38.147 --> 01:02:39.169 Which was very critical, 1546 01:02:39.169 --> 01:02:41.729 because they needed to have some clinical skills. 1547 01:02:41.729 --> 01:02:45.164 And if we decided that they needed to have a referral, 1548 01:02:45.164 --> 01:02:46.220 we would make the referral 1549 01:02:46.220 --> 01:02:48.065 through the principal, to social work. 1550 01:02:48.065 --> 01:02:52.374 So we were totally shocked by the number of kids 1551 01:02:52.374 --> 01:02:55.200 who were in distress and needed a referral. 1552 01:02:55.200 --> 01:02:57.451 And being at a university, 1553 01:02:57.451 --> 01:02:59.520 I found that really very important. 1554 01:02:59.520 --> 01:03:03.509 Because one of the priorities in all universities now 1555 01:03:03.509 --> 01:03:06.475 is students' mental health. 1556 01:03:06.475 --> 01:03:08.267 And yet, we're seeing these kids 1557 01:03:08.267 --> 01:03:09.525 in grade four, seven, and ten, 1558 01:03:09.525 --> 01:03:11.928 and they're struggling with mental health. 1559 01:03:12.688 --> 01:03:15.285 So we found in year one that almost one in five 1560 01:03:15.285 --> 01:03:16.843 identified as in distress. 1561 01:03:16.843 --> 01:03:20.319 Enough so that we had to actually go in and talk with them. 1562 01:03:20.319 --> 01:03:22.762 And in some cases, we had to go back a couple of times. 1563 01:03:22.762 --> 01:03:24.927 Because they were not interested in getting help. 1564 01:03:24.927 --> 01:03:27.166 So that's where we needed the social work skills, 1565 01:03:27.166 --> 01:03:31.197 to kind of, psychologically, work with them. 1566 01:03:31.197 --> 01:03:32.894 Especially if we thought they needed it. 1567 01:03:32.894 --> 01:03:36.318 So in year one, 18% of the students were in distress. 1568 01:03:36.318 --> 01:03:38.066 And in year two, 14%. 1569 01:03:38.066 --> 01:03:40.082 And we don't have year three yet. 1570 01:03:40.082 --> 01:03:41.498 But just... 1571 01:03:41.668 --> 01:03:43.806 They're more likely to be female. 1572 01:03:43.806 --> 01:03:45.470 And many of them, a third of them, 1573 01:03:45.470 --> 01:03:47.624 were identified because they said 1574 01:03:47.624 --> 01:03:50.451 they had suicidal thoughts or had done something. 1575 01:03:50.451 --> 01:03:52.788 And in the first year, 1576 01:03:52.788 --> 01:03:54.813 there was no relationship between grades. 1577 01:03:54.813 --> 01:03:56.221 So that meant the kids in grade four 1578 01:03:56.221 --> 01:03:58.761 were also likely to be in distress. 1579 01:04:00.711 --> 01:04:03.431 So in year one, 62% of the students in distress 1580 01:04:03.431 --> 01:04:05.331 we thought needed referral. 1581 01:04:05.331 --> 01:04:08.348 And in year two, 51% did. 1582 01:04:09.168 --> 01:04:10.737 And one of the other concerning issues 1583 01:04:10.737 --> 01:04:12.937 was that many of them had seen help, 1584 01:04:13.537 --> 01:04:15.270 been in help, been for help, 1585 01:04:15.270 --> 01:04:16.709 and they had not found it helpful. 1586 01:04:16.709 --> 01:04:18.010 But they felt they either 1587 01:04:18.010 --> 01:04:19.536 couldn't tell their parents about it, 1588 01:04:19.536 --> 01:04:21.999 or if they did, nothing happened. 1589 01:04:21.999 --> 01:04:23.706 So they weren't talking to anybody. 1590 01:04:23.706 --> 01:04:25.733 And it was very interesting that they came and talked to us. 1591 01:04:25.733 --> 01:04:27.748 So there were actually a couple of kids, 1592 01:04:27.748 --> 01:04:29.168 actually, more than a couple of kids, 1593 01:04:29.168 --> 01:04:30.768 who signed up for the study 1594 01:04:30.768 --> 01:04:33.680 just so they could talk to us about it. 1595 01:04:35.880 --> 01:04:37.348 I'm not going to go into all of the reasons. 1596 01:04:37.348 --> 01:04:39.993 But the reasons we broke it into three themes, 1597 01:04:39.993 --> 01:04:42.147 one was protecting themself. 1598 01:04:42.147 --> 01:04:44.099 That they were afraid that if they told adults, 1599 01:04:44.099 --> 01:04:45.625 they would be blamed. 1600 01:04:46.195 --> 01:04:48.305 They would be not understood. 1601 01:04:48.305 --> 01:04:50.301 So they felt that would not be good. 1602 01:04:50.301 --> 01:04:52.838 Another reason was protecting others. 1603 01:04:52.838 --> 01:04:55.602 A lot of them were protecting their parents. 1604 01:04:55.602 --> 01:04:56.475 They did not, 1605 01:04:56.475 --> 01:04:58.182 they felt their parents were already burdened, 1606 01:04:58.182 --> 01:04:59.707 they didn't need another burden. 1607 01:04:59.707 --> 01:05:02.470 In some cases, they came from ethnic or religious groups 1608 01:05:02.470 --> 01:05:03.804 where they felt that it would bring 1609 01:05:03.804 --> 01:05:05.712 tremendous shame to the family. 1610 01:05:05.712 --> 01:05:07.490 And then the last theme was really 1611 01:05:07.490 --> 01:05:08.731 that they felt adults wouldn't help. 1612 01:05:08.731 --> 01:05:10.448 So there was no point. 1613 01:05:11.898 --> 01:05:13.436 And another concerning thing is, 1614 01:05:13.436 --> 01:05:15.146 even though we made referrals, 1615 01:05:15.146 --> 01:05:17.460 39% of the students in distress in year one, 1616 01:05:17.460 --> 01:05:19.818 we found again, they were in distress the second year. 1617 01:05:19.818 --> 01:05:21.385 That was very concerning. 1618 01:05:21.385 --> 01:05:23.284 And so many of them felt that there was 1619 01:05:23.284 --> 01:05:25.068 nothing they could do. 1620 01:05:25.908 --> 01:05:29.929 So if we just go back to the findings we had again. 1621 01:05:29.929 --> 01:05:31.789 It's very tentative, but girls... 1622 01:05:31.789 --> 01:05:33.981 Just pulled out some quotes 1623 01:05:33.981 --> 01:05:36.254 about the kinds of things they're talking about. 1624 01:05:36.254 --> 01:05:38.536 So, one girl in grade ten talked about, 1625 01:05:38.536 --> 01:05:41.032 "..posting pictures of this girl I knew. 1626 01:05:41.032 --> 01:05:43.528 And it was very private pictures, so it was quite bad. 1627 01:05:43.528 --> 01:05:44.616 But usually when people comment, 1628 01:05:44.616 --> 01:05:46.013 they don't do nice comments." 1629 01:05:46.013 --> 01:05:47.706 And that's what really came out. 1630 01:05:47.706 --> 01:05:50.514 The picture's there, they don't don't just leave it. 1631 01:05:50.514 --> 01:05:53.423 There's a tremendous kind of... 1632 01:05:54.063 --> 01:05:54.938 Starting... 1633 01:05:54.938 --> 01:05:58.009 They all begin to write bad comments. 1634 01:05:59.169 --> 01:06:03.449 Another girl talked about sending pictures to somebody, 1635 01:06:03.449 --> 01:06:07.214 and then it'll get out, and thinking they can trust them. 1636 01:06:07.214 --> 01:06:09.166 And again, one of the themes that really came out 1637 01:06:09.166 --> 01:06:12.355 is that they tended to blame the girl for doing that. 1638 01:06:12.355 --> 01:06:16.056 Not one person said anything about the boy getting 1639 01:06:16.056 --> 01:06:20.568 a picture that was private, and that he shouldn't send it. 1640 01:06:21.388 --> 01:06:23.085 And then this is a girl in grade four. 1641 01:06:23.085 --> 01:06:24.248 And I thought it was really important 1642 01:06:24.248 --> 01:06:27.618 because she's talking about using the word 'slut'. 1643 01:06:27.618 --> 01:06:29.079 And she doesn't even know what it means, 1644 01:06:29.079 --> 01:06:31.415 but she knows it's despicable, 1645 01:06:31.415 --> 01:06:33.367 and she thinks it's to do with 'ugly'. 1646 01:06:33.367 --> 01:06:35.962 But it just shows it's part of that, 1647 01:06:35.962 --> 01:06:37.333 that culture. 1648 01:06:38.693 --> 01:06:41.664 And boys, one of the issues for boys, 1649 01:06:41.664 --> 01:06:42.591 they talk, they, 1650 01:06:42.591 --> 01:06:45.782 girls call it 'drama', boys call it 'trash talk'. 1651 01:06:45.782 --> 01:06:48.204 And there's a lot of homophobic comments. 1652 01:06:48.204 --> 01:06:49.590 And what's interesting though, 1653 01:06:49.590 --> 01:06:52.779 is a lot of it takes place in gaming sites. 1654 01:06:52.779 --> 01:06:54.400 And adults either don't know about it, 1655 01:06:54.400 --> 01:06:56.043 or don't consider it cyber-bullying. 1656 01:06:56.043 --> 01:06:59.360 Because often, it's not really you. 1657 01:06:59.360 --> 01:07:02.411 So, but when you interview these boys though, 1658 01:07:02.411 --> 01:07:03.979 they talk about it, it becomes very clear 1659 01:07:03.979 --> 01:07:07.029 that these homophobic, sexist, racist comments 1660 01:07:07.029 --> 01:07:10.272 can actually be very difficult for them to hear. 1661 01:07:10.822 --> 01:07:13.609 So this is one boy, again, talking about that. 1662 01:07:13.609 --> 01:07:16.670 So what he does is, he'll put his headset on, 1663 01:07:16.670 --> 01:07:18.067 and then take it off. 1664 01:07:18.067 --> 01:07:19.900 He doesn't want to listen to it. 1665 01:07:23.510 --> 01:07:24.669 So just another... 1666 01:07:24.669 --> 01:07:27.656 Just how they keep posting, keep laughing. 1667 01:07:28.156 --> 01:07:30.353 This, again, is a boy in grade four. 1668 01:07:31.183 --> 01:07:33.168 But when we looked at it, 1669 01:07:33.168 --> 01:07:36.109 and this seems to fit some of the other research, 1670 01:07:36.109 --> 01:07:38.243 is that it's starting to be normalized. 1671 01:07:38.243 --> 01:07:39.885 And I think that's what's important. 1672 01:07:39.885 --> 01:07:43.768 That participants really, they consider this, 1673 01:07:43.768 --> 01:07:46.285 they're not freaked out by the idea of it. 1674 01:07:46.285 --> 01:07:50.231 It's part of what they expect, it occurs often. 1675 01:07:50.231 --> 01:07:51.980 And a lot of them talked about 1676 01:07:51.980 --> 01:07:53.666 finding it disturbing and upsetting, 1677 01:07:53.666 --> 01:07:56.385 but a lot of them were not disturbed by it. 1678 01:07:57.015 --> 01:08:00.417 And this if just, again, a quote about how fast it happens. 1679 01:08:00.417 --> 01:08:01.313 And... 1680 01:08:03.783 --> 01:08:06.193 And then this, again, is just the betrayal. 1681 01:08:06.193 --> 01:08:07.775 That you think somebody is a friend, 1682 01:08:07.775 --> 01:08:09.973 and then they send it out. 1683 01:08:10.973 --> 01:08:14.604 But I think the big message that we're, that struck us, 1684 01:08:14.604 --> 01:08:16.876 is that it is getting normalized. 1685 01:08:16.876 --> 01:08:19.415 And that it's happening under the radar screen. 1686 01:08:19.415 --> 01:08:22.199 It comes to the media when there's a tragedy, 1687 01:08:22.199 --> 01:08:23.383 and then we forget about it. 1688 01:08:23.383 --> 01:08:25.557 But as adults, we need to deal with this. 1689 01:08:25.557 --> 01:08:27.489 Because it's part of the new society. 1690 01:08:27.489 --> 01:08:29.025 And there isn't a quick answer. 1691 01:08:29.025 --> 01:08:31.765 Often the answer that's given out is, 1692 01:08:31.765 --> 01:08:35.243 "Let's have new laws, and let's throw these kids in jail." 1693 01:08:35.243 --> 01:08:37.622 And I think most people working in the area, 1694 01:08:37.622 --> 01:08:40.182 including law enforcement, would agree, 1695 01:08:40.182 --> 01:08:43.050 that's only the extreme, that's one end of the continuum. 1696 01:08:43.050 --> 01:08:44.916 But that's not really the issue. 1697 01:08:46.076 --> 01:08:48.309 So I'm not going to get into cyber-bullying an adult. 1698 01:08:48.309 --> 01:08:49.653 But I think we just need to remember, 1699 01:08:49.653 --> 01:08:51.540 it doesn't stop after high school. 1700 01:08:51.540 --> 01:08:54.281 It takes place a lot in universities and colleges. 1701 01:08:54.281 --> 01:08:55.168 And workplaces. 1702 01:08:55.168 --> 01:08:57.482 It just hasn't gotten the attention 1703 01:08:57.482 --> 01:08:59.231 that it probably should get. 1704 01:09:00.351 --> 01:09:02.410 So one study showed, you can see, 1705 01:09:02.410 --> 01:09:05.364 that a lot of kids have been, a lot of young adults 1706 01:09:05.364 --> 01:09:07.700 have been involved in cyber-bullying. 1707 01:09:07.700 --> 01:09:09.919 Or they knew somebody who was. 1708 01:09:09.919 --> 01:09:11.540 And that there's not a lot of research on it. 1709 01:09:11.540 --> 01:09:13.383 There was more research on traditional bullying 1710 01:09:13.383 --> 01:09:14.439 in a workplace. 1711 01:09:14.439 --> 01:09:15.537 But we need to do that. 1712 01:09:15.537 --> 01:09:17.671 And when we think about the apps 1713 01:09:17.671 --> 01:09:20.064 that it happens on for young adults, 1714 01:09:20.574 --> 01:09:22.446 there's just a few of the apps. 1715 01:09:22.446 --> 01:09:23.951 There's so many apps. 1716 01:09:23.951 --> 01:09:25.700 And I don't know how many have heard of most of them. 1717 01:09:25.700 --> 01:09:27.001 Oops, sorry. 1718 01:09:29.391 --> 01:09:30.915 So one app... 1719 01:09:30.915 --> 01:09:32.728 Has anybody heard of YikYak? 1720 01:09:33.608 --> 01:09:35.978 Has anybody heard of YikYak? 1721 01:09:37.548 --> 01:09:39.034 So a couple, OK. 1722 01:09:39.034 --> 01:09:40.815 I had never heard of YikYak. 1723 01:09:40.815 --> 01:09:44.357 So what it is, it's a real-time app. 1724 01:09:44.357 --> 01:09:46.042 It takes place in universities, 1725 01:09:46.042 --> 01:09:47.620 so it could be happening here. 1726 01:09:47.620 --> 01:09:49.210 And the way you access it, 1727 01:09:49.210 --> 01:09:50.756 I'll show you it to you for a second. 1728 01:09:50.756 --> 01:09:52.484 They way you access it is, you turn it on, 1729 01:09:52.484 --> 01:09:57.134 and the closest university where somebody is using YikYak 1730 01:09:57.134 --> 01:09:59.611 is where you'll be able to come and see it live. 1731 01:09:59.611 --> 01:10:02.231 So we have a couple of screenshots. 1732 01:10:03.031 --> 01:10:05.472 And I've darkened some of these 1733 01:10:05.472 --> 01:10:07.861 because I just felt, 1734 01:10:07.861 --> 01:10:09.120 there's no way I could even... 1735 01:10:09.120 --> 01:10:12.629 I didn't even feel comfortable to show it as an example. 1736 01:10:12.629 --> 01:10:15.135 Because it was so offensive. 1737 01:10:15.135 --> 01:10:18.197 And this was happening in university. 1738 01:10:18.197 --> 01:10:20.266 In a class, a regular class. 1739 01:10:20.266 --> 01:10:22.228 And the name of the professor was mentioned. 1740 01:10:22.228 --> 01:10:23.466 And it's interesting, we looked her up. 1741 01:10:23.466 --> 01:10:25.350 And just coincidentally, she just gotten her PhD 1742 01:10:25.350 --> 01:10:27.143 from UFT, not in social work. 1743 01:10:27.143 --> 01:10:29.096 But it was... 1744 01:10:29.096 --> 01:10:30.451 So this is just, 1745 01:10:30.451 --> 01:10:33.288 this was like in a matter of two minutes. 1746 01:10:35.148 --> 01:10:36.657 And we kept in some of it, 1747 01:10:36.657 --> 01:10:39.131 but we tried to take out the real offensive stuff. 1748 01:10:39.131 --> 01:10:41.574 So again, that's under the radar screen. 1749 01:10:41.574 --> 01:10:44.006 There's also things like 'revenge porn sites', 1750 01:10:44.006 --> 01:10:48.635 where boyfriends send pictures of their ex-girlfriends, 1751 01:10:48.635 --> 01:10:51.344 along with social security numbers, and addresses, 1752 01:10:51.344 --> 01:10:53.733 and phone numbers, and explicit instructions 1753 01:10:53.733 --> 01:10:55.802 of what to do to them sexually. 1754 01:10:57.082 --> 01:10:59.258 So in terms of social work implications, 1755 01:10:59.258 --> 01:11:00.869 I think that 1756 01:11:02.669 --> 01:11:05.444 one implication is that the technological advances 1757 01:11:05.444 --> 01:11:07.779 far out-pace behavioral guidelines. 1758 01:11:07.779 --> 01:11:10.744 And I think that's where social work, 1759 01:11:10.744 --> 01:11:11.747 and Smith College, 1760 01:11:11.747 --> 01:11:13.600 understand that behavioral guidelines 1761 01:11:13.600 --> 01:11:15.264 are not the simple answer. 1762 01:11:15.264 --> 01:11:16.835 That we can't... 1763 01:11:18.135 --> 01:11:19.605 We need to be inclusive. 1764 01:11:19.605 --> 01:11:22.432 We can't just pick one or two behavioral guidelines. 1765 01:11:22.432 --> 01:11:25.056 We have to understand the whole context. 1766 01:11:25.306 --> 01:11:25.886 Oops. 1767 01:11:26.916 --> 01:11:28.910 I think the battery just died. 1768 01:11:31.622 --> 01:11:32.330 OK. 1769 01:11:32.927 --> 01:11:34.715 You know what, I'll just... 1770 01:11:35.708 --> 01:11:37.296 I've got my notes. 1771 01:11:37.786 --> 01:11:38.682 Sorry. 1772 01:11:44.416 --> 01:11:46.709 So the Ecological Systems Framework, 1773 01:11:46.709 --> 01:11:48.010 the person in environment, 1774 01:11:48.010 --> 01:11:49.248 I think that really fits. 1775 01:11:49.248 --> 01:11:51.562 And some people have started to add a 'cyber'. 1776 01:11:51.562 --> 01:11:54.986 So there's the individual, 1777 01:11:54.986 --> 01:11:57.771 the macro, and then the societal. 1778 01:11:57.771 --> 01:11:59.636 And then cyber has been added. 1779 01:11:59.636 --> 01:12:02.623 And some people have added it in the micro 1780 01:12:02.623 --> 01:12:04.512 and others have added it in the macro. 1781 01:12:04.512 --> 01:12:06.569 But I think that it really does fit. 1782 01:12:06.569 --> 01:12:08.724 That we need to have an expanded Systems Framework, 1783 01:12:08.724 --> 01:12:12.457 where we recognize that cyber world takes place. 1784 01:12:12.457 --> 01:12:14.698 And then we need to both assess for it, 1785 01:12:14.698 --> 01:12:16.796 so when we work with kids and their families, 1786 01:12:16.796 --> 01:12:17.853 we need to look and see, 1787 01:12:17.853 --> 01:12:20.636 what are they doing in terms of the cyber world. 1788 01:12:20.636 --> 01:12:23.131 And how does that help us know where to intervene. 1789 01:12:27.681 --> 01:12:31.473 And because we know that a child who's vulnerable, 1790 01:12:31.473 --> 01:12:33.692 and then there's other issues across 1791 01:12:33.692 --> 01:12:35.888 the different levels of their social ecology. 1792 01:12:35.888 --> 01:12:38.064 We really need to understand that. 1793 01:12:38.064 --> 01:12:39.685 And look at that. 1794 01:12:39.685 --> 01:12:42.042 And that helps us really know where the problems are, 1795 01:12:42.042 --> 01:12:46.373 rather than just coming up with a quick answer. 1796 01:12:46.963 --> 01:12:48.483 So some of the issues to consider is, 1797 01:12:48.483 --> 01:12:50.787 we need to consider the school environment. 1798 01:12:50.787 --> 01:12:52.812 We need to wonder, "Is it toxic? 1799 01:12:52.812 --> 01:12:54.519 Is there connectedness?" 1800 01:12:54.519 --> 01:12:56.609 And much research has shown that 1801 01:12:56.609 --> 01:12:58.561 school climate has a huge impact. 1802 01:12:58.561 --> 01:13:00.246 But again, it's a hard thing to change. 1803 01:13:00.246 --> 01:13:01.473 But we need to consider that. 1804 01:13:01.473 --> 01:13:04.705 We also need to consider the identity of the aggressor. 1805 01:13:04.705 --> 01:13:07.041 Because often it is a friend. 1806 01:13:07.041 --> 01:13:09.558 And when it is a friend, we need to realize 1807 01:13:09.558 --> 01:13:11.851 that it's happening in these very important relationships. 1808 01:13:11.851 --> 01:13:14.752 And some research has shown that, in a group, 1809 01:13:14.752 --> 01:13:17.248 for example, the one who is the most popular 1810 01:13:17.248 --> 01:13:19.360 no longer bullies in any way. 1811 01:13:19.360 --> 01:13:23.424 But the ones who are getting close to the top of that ladder 1812 01:13:23.424 --> 01:13:25.046 might be more aggressive. 1813 01:13:25.046 --> 01:13:26.943 So we need to understand the dynamics 1814 01:13:26.943 --> 01:13:28.566 and work with that. 1815 01:13:29.166 --> 01:13:32.020 And absolutely, adults' responses 1816 01:13:32.020 --> 01:13:33.791 to cyber-bullying is critical. 1817 01:13:33.791 --> 01:13:34.890 It can't be, 1818 01:13:34.890 --> 01:13:38.068 It can't be impulsive, and just reactive. 1819 01:13:38.068 --> 01:13:41.375 And often, the message is that the problem, 1820 01:13:41.375 --> 01:13:43.271 are that kids are doing this, 1821 01:13:43.271 --> 01:13:45.767 and we need to have laws to stop them. 1822 01:13:45.767 --> 01:13:48.614 So I don't know if you know, in Canada, there's a law now. 1823 01:13:48.614 --> 01:13:52.753 That actually, the Supreme Court did not, it rejected. 1824 01:13:52.753 --> 01:13:55.846 Part of it was that there could be... 1825 01:13:57.266 --> 01:14:00.231 Law enforcement would be able to access 1826 01:14:00.231 --> 01:14:02.940 all of their internet stuff without a warrant. 1827 01:14:02.940 --> 01:14:05.477 And the Supreme Court did not let them do that. 1828 01:14:05.477 --> 01:14:07.164 So the message, 1829 01:14:07.164 --> 01:14:10.397 the impulses are often to come up with laws. 1830 01:14:10.397 --> 01:14:13.702 And the message is that the bully, quote, "bully," 1831 01:14:13.702 --> 01:14:16.922 is the problem, but we know that the kids who's a bully 1832 01:14:16.922 --> 01:14:19.142 might have a problem, or might be a problem. 1833 01:14:19.142 --> 01:14:21.275 But it's a problem in a larger context, 1834 01:14:21.275 --> 01:14:23.129 and we have to address that. 1835 01:14:23.839 --> 01:14:25.517 And so then the last thing I just wanted to say, 1836 01:14:25.517 --> 01:14:26.737 back to Laurel. 1837 01:14:26.737 --> 01:14:29.940 When I met with her, the big issue for her parents 1838 01:14:29.940 --> 01:14:31.706 is they also wanted to be very punitive. 1839 01:14:31.706 --> 01:14:32.944 And they were really decent people, 1840 01:14:32.944 --> 01:14:34.512 but they were completely freaked out. 1841 01:14:34.512 --> 01:14:36.720 They thought their daughter was very responsible, 1842 01:14:36.720 --> 01:14:38.020 and had good judgement. 1843 01:14:38.020 --> 01:14:40.485 So for them, this meant that she didn't have good judgement. 1844 01:14:40.485 --> 01:14:41.765 So in my work with her, 1845 01:14:41.765 --> 01:14:43.973 I met with her individually a bit, 1846 01:14:43.973 --> 01:14:46.256 and I met with her and her parents. 1847 01:14:46.256 --> 01:14:48.954 And what came out is, she had excellent judgement. 1848 01:14:48.954 --> 01:14:51.962 She was seeing this boy, she was a great student, 1849 01:14:51.962 --> 01:14:54.010 she was just a great, responsible young woman. 1850 01:14:54.010 --> 01:14:57.082 So everybody thought that she was kind of invulnerable. 1851 01:14:57.082 --> 01:14:58.361 But she felt insecure. 1852 01:14:58.361 --> 01:15:01.188 And what became evident is that 1853 01:15:01.188 --> 01:15:03.214 the boyfriend made her feel beautiful, 1854 01:15:03.214 --> 01:15:04.558 and her was very complimentary. 1855 01:15:04.558 --> 01:15:06.510 And then when he started asking her for a picture, 1856 01:15:06.510 --> 01:15:08.131 she said, "Absolutely not." 1857 01:15:08.131 --> 01:15:09.881 She definitely did not want to do it. 1858 01:15:09.881 --> 01:15:13.069 And he wore her down, and she felt she owed him something. 1859 01:15:13.069 --> 01:15:15.331 But, so for her parents, it was very important 1860 01:15:15.331 --> 01:15:17.688 for them to hear that she did have good judgement. 1861 01:15:17.688 --> 01:15:19.309 That that didn't go out the window. 1862 01:15:19.309 --> 01:15:21.976 But that she's young, and she felt pressured. 1863 01:15:21.976 --> 01:15:24.108 And she had lower self-esteem. 1864 01:15:24.108 --> 01:15:27.319 And also, at that point, we weren't aware of it. 1865 01:15:27.319 --> 01:15:29.154 It wasn't public in the world. 1866 01:15:29.154 --> 01:15:30.573 So this is also the context 1867 01:15:30.573 --> 01:15:32.173 of the world that she's living in. 1868 01:15:32.173 --> 01:15:35.628 Because 30 years ago, nobody would have asked for 1869 01:15:36.568 --> 01:15:38.379 you know, a poloroid picture. 1870 01:15:38.379 --> 01:15:40.555 But now with, she did it with a web cam, 1871 01:15:40.555 --> 01:15:41.567 now with the iPhone. 1872 01:15:41.567 --> 01:15:43.903 So that was very important, and that helped. 1873 01:15:43.903 --> 01:15:45.632 So that was really important for her and her family 1874 01:15:45.632 --> 01:15:47.829 to be able to resolve that, so that they knew. 1875 01:15:47.829 --> 01:15:49.493 They had to understand that she was a victim. 1876 01:15:49.493 --> 01:15:51.989 At first they just felt she was breaking their rule, 1877 01:15:51.989 --> 01:15:54.122 doing something that she shouldn't do. 1878 01:15:54.122 --> 01:15:55.219 But she knew... 1879 01:15:55.219 --> 01:15:56.788 It's not just that she was breaking a rule. 1880 01:15:56.788 --> 01:15:58.047 She did not want to do it. 1881 01:15:58.047 --> 01:16:00.158 But she needed to have that support. 1882 01:16:01.898 --> 01:16:03.139 And that's it. 1883 01:16:04.308 --> 01:16:09.026 (audience applause) 1884 01:16:12.775 --> 01:16:15.109 Sorry about that, sorry about that. 1885 01:16:15.109 --> 01:16:16.606 - [Josh] Take questions for five or ten minutes. 1886 01:16:16.606 --> 01:16:19.573 - OK, take questions for five or ten minutes. 1887 01:16:24.032 --> 01:16:24.934 Yes. 1888 01:16:25.405 --> 01:16:27.027 - [Voiceover] So, thank you for your talk. 1889 01:16:27.027 --> 01:16:30.781 I know that Toronto's a very multi-ethnic city. 1890 01:16:31.941 --> 01:16:35.687 Could you say something about any ethnic differences 1891 01:16:35.687 --> 01:16:38.994 in the results that you see, related to cyber-bullying? 1892 01:16:38.994 --> 01:16:42.130 - In ours, so far we haven't found any in ours. 1893 01:16:43.020 --> 01:16:46.162 And actually, the research is kind of mixed about it. 1894 01:16:46.162 --> 01:16:48.743 Some find that there is some, others don't. 1895 01:16:48.743 --> 01:16:51.186 So I think it's something we need to find more about. 1896 01:16:51.186 --> 01:16:54.939 But in ours, so far that has not shown up to be different. 1897 01:16:59.909 --> 01:17:00.504 Yes? 1898 01:17:01.974 --> 01:17:04.920 - [Voiceover] I work with a lot of young adults and kids. 1899 01:17:04.920 --> 01:17:07.303 And when... 1900 01:17:07.779 --> 01:17:09.592 Some of them, when they talk about 1901 01:17:09.592 --> 01:17:12.866 the internet and their photos, their pictures, 1902 01:17:12.866 --> 01:17:16.300 their communications, I think that they, 1903 01:17:16.300 --> 01:17:18.189 they're actually having sex. 1904 01:17:18.189 --> 01:17:21.196 This is their version of sex. 1905 01:17:21.196 --> 01:17:25.058 And what I said to one of my clients was, 1906 01:17:25.058 --> 01:17:27.884 "Would you have sex without a condom?" 1907 01:17:27.884 --> 01:17:29.536 She's 16 years old. 1908 01:17:29.536 --> 01:17:30.870 "Would you have sex without a condom?" 1909 01:17:30.870 --> 01:17:32.641 She's like, "Absolutely not. 1910 01:17:32.641 --> 01:17:34.038 No, I wouldn't do that." 1911 01:17:34.038 --> 01:17:34.976 And I said, 1912 01:17:34.976 --> 01:17:37.782 "Well, sending photos of yourself out on the internet 1913 01:17:37.782 --> 01:17:40.001 is like having sex without a condom, 1914 01:17:40.001 --> 01:17:41.579 because they're going to go, 1915 01:17:41.579 --> 01:17:43.200 they could go anywhere, millions of places." 1916 01:17:43.200 --> 01:17:45.398 So that, in that way, I got through to her. 1917 01:17:45.398 --> 01:17:47.509 But she was a person who isolated. 1918 01:17:47.509 --> 01:17:50.112 She was very over-protected by mom, 1919 01:17:50.112 --> 01:17:52.042 who had been a trauma survivor. 1920 01:17:52.042 --> 01:17:53.664 Very over-protected. 1921 01:17:53.664 --> 01:17:56.085 And so, with all that parental protection, 1922 01:17:56.085 --> 01:17:59.071 it afforded her a way to relay. 1923 01:17:59.071 --> 01:18:02.290 In a way that her writing 1924 01:18:02.290 --> 01:18:04.093 looked like pornography. 1925 01:18:04.093 --> 01:18:06.376 And the photos were very porn-[inaudible]. 1926 01:18:06.376 --> 01:18:08.975 And we'd sat, had a long discussion about porn. 1927 01:18:08.975 --> 01:18:11.451 And she actually believed she was having sex. 1928 01:18:11.451 --> 01:18:12.711 Even though there was no - [Faye] Right. 1929 01:18:12.711 --> 01:18:14.071 - [Voiceover] human, physical - [Faye] Right. 1930 01:18:14.071 --> 01:18:15.479 - [Voiceover] contact. 1931 01:18:16.168 --> 01:18:17.138 - Right. 1932 01:18:17.138 --> 01:18:19.250 See, I think what's so important about that, 1933 01:18:19.250 --> 01:18:23.580 is that there's very little discussion happening like that. 1934 01:18:23.580 --> 01:18:26.566 The message is often just, "Don't do it." 1935 01:18:26.566 --> 01:18:30.183 And so I think that's exactly the kinds of conversations 1936 01:18:30.183 --> 01:18:32.583 that adults need to be able to have. 1937 01:18:32.583 --> 01:18:34.716 And that's, again, where I think social workers can help. 1938 01:18:34.716 --> 01:18:37.478 Because when I think of teachers and parents, 1939 01:18:37.478 --> 01:18:38.630 the last thing they want to do is 1940 01:18:38.630 --> 01:18:40.486 have that kind of conversation. 1941 01:18:40.486 --> 01:18:42.843 But we need to really open that up, 1942 01:18:42.843 --> 01:18:46.086 because that's the conversation that need to happen. 1943 01:18:51.556 --> 01:18:52.297 Yes? 1944 01:18:52.510 --> 01:18:54.606 - [Voiceover] Do you have any recommendations for us, 1945 01:18:54.606 --> 01:18:57.209 for those of us who work with kids and families, 1946 01:18:57.209 --> 01:19:00.793 how to learn more about the different platforms. 1947 01:19:00.793 --> 01:19:03.620 You know, as I hear about things from certain clients, 1948 01:19:03.620 --> 01:19:07.417 but you can't go on-line and snoop around, 1949 01:19:07.417 --> 01:19:08.675 and figure out what they are. 1950 01:19:08.675 --> 01:19:10.585 Because then, there you are. 1951 01:19:10.585 --> 01:19:12.907 - Well, you know, I think a great thing for the young kids 1952 01:19:12.907 --> 01:19:14.837 is to let them show you the platforms. 1953 01:19:14.837 --> 01:19:16.704 I mean, they're happy to do that. 1954 01:19:16.704 --> 01:19:18.336 And you know, I don't mean show you 1955 01:19:18.336 --> 01:19:19.914 all the stuff that they're doing. 1956 01:19:19.914 --> 01:19:22.581 But I think, you know, just like if you're talking to, 1957 01:19:22.581 --> 01:19:25.183 before this world, the class, 1958 01:19:25.183 --> 01:19:27.135 they would tell us about what they did. 1959 01:19:27.135 --> 01:19:28.532 So if this is what they do, 1960 01:19:28.532 --> 01:19:30.303 this is how the talk about their relationships. 1961 01:19:30.303 --> 01:19:33.407 So I think that's a really good way to have that happen. 1962 01:19:33.407 --> 01:19:36.724 So that they know that we're interested in it, 1963 01:19:36.724 --> 01:19:38.932 not just about the problem of it. 1964 01:19:38.932 --> 01:19:40.681 Because I think that's the other issue. 1965 01:19:40.681 --> 01:19:42.068 We often often talked about 1966 01:19:42.068 --> 01:19:44.487 only as a problem, like anti-bullying. 1967 01:19:44.487 --> 01:19:46.439 And opposed to understanding it. 1968 01:19:46.439 --> 01:19:48.839 And understanding the good things of the platforms. 1969 01:19:49.689 --> 01:19:50.537 Is that...? 1970 01:19:51.300 --> 01:19:52.580 - [Voiceover] It is, yeah. 1971 01:19:52.580 --> 01:19:54.564 I'm used to my teenage clients... 1972 01:19:54.564 --> 01:19:56.441 I'm used to like, if they tell me they 1973 01:19:56.441 --> 01:19:58.148 like a certain musician, and I'll go 1974 01:19:58.148 --> 01:19:59.388 and I'll listen to the music. - [Faye] Yeah. 1975 01:19:59.388 --> 01:20:00.608 - [Voiceover] And then checking it out, and that gives me 1976 01:20:00.608 --> 01:20:01.759 a lot of information. - [Faye] Yeah. 1977 01:20:01.759 --> 01:20:04.229 - [Voiceover] And I read the lyrics of the musician. 1978 01:20:04.229 --> 01:20:06.743 But it's harder with something like Tumblr. 1979 01:20:06.743 --> 01:20:08.982 They can show show me what they've posted. 1980 01:20:08.982 --> 01:20:12.108 But I mean, I could get them to show me more-- 1981 01:20:12.108 --> 01:20:14.241 - [Faye] But so if it's Tumblr, let's say. 1982 01:20:14.241 --> 01:20:15.488 I don't know if people know Tumblr. 1983 01:20:15.488 --> 01:20:16.630 But Tumblr's a place where, 1984 01:20:16.630 --> 01:20:18.230 it's often considered a support place. 1985 01:20:18.230 --> 01:20:20.470 With kids who might, you know, be cutting, 1986 01:20:20.470 --> 01:20:22.134 or talking about eating disorders. 1987 01:20:22.134 --> 01:20:23.659 And they're getting support about that. 1988 01:20:23.659 --> 01:20:26.933 So I think it doesn't hurt to go on there, just generally. 1989 01:20:26.933 --> 01:20:28.395 And just so you understand 1990 01:20:28.395 --> 01:20:30.581 what they're being exposed to on that. 1991 01:20:30.581 --> 01:20:33.493 Because, and again, for the most part, 1992 01:20:33.493 --> 01:20:35.402 they feel like it's a support. 1993 01:20:35.402 --> 01:20:37.471 And again, if you're an adult and you look at it 1994 01:20:37.471 --> 01:20:39.198 and say, "Oh my God, they're being taught 1995 01:20:39.198 --> 01:20:40.564 how to do this." 1996 01:20:40.564 --> 01:20:43.327 But I do think there's a point to understand it. 1997 01:20:43.327 --> 01:20:44.660 And understand what it means to them. 1998 01:20:44.660 --> 01:20:46.431 How is it helpful, how is it not. 1999 01:20:46.431 --> 01:20:48.223 So I do think it's the same thing. 2000 01:20:48.223 --> 01:20:51.860 Only you wouldn't be doing it looking at their Tumblr, 2001 01:20:51.860 --> 01:20:53.662 you would just be looking at it in general. 2002 01:20:54.772 --> 01:20:55.469 Yes? 2003 01:20:56.578 --> 01:20:58.031 - [Voiceover] I don't know if you looked at this 2004 01:20:58.031 --> 01:20:59.471 in your research, but do you know, 2005 01:20:59.471 --> 01:21:03.354 has anyone looked at that effect of 2006 01:21:03.354 --> 01:21:06.180 something where the images of... 2007 01:21:06.180 --> 01:21:08.984 Images of cutting, for example, and how that 2008 01:21:08.984 --> 01:21:11.076 then flows through the groups. 2009 01:21:11.076 --> 01:21:13.167 And has anyone looked at how that affects 2010 01:21:13.167 --> 01:21:15.849 the kids choices or their behaviors? 2011 01:21:16.689 --> 01:21:17.762 - Not that... 2012 01:21:17.762 --> 01:21:18.871 I'm not aware of that. 2013 01:21:18.871 --> 01:21:21.943 But I think that people are just about to begin doing that. 2014 01:21:21.943 --> 01:21:23.959 I think people realize that's very important. 2015 01:21:26.329 --> 01:21:26.995 Yes? 2016 01:21:27.376 --> 01:21:28.606 - [Voiceover] Faye, I'm just curious as to 2017 01:21:28.606 --> 01:21:30.622 how you got involved in this topic 2018 01:21:30.622 --> 01:21:33.022 and what it's been like for you to be 2019 01:21:33.022 --> 01:21:35.048 getting to know so many of these social media sites 2020 01:21:35.048 --> 01:21:37.363 then, I assume, immersing yourself in them? 2021 01:21:37.363 --> 01:21:39.603 - Well, I got involved in the topic in a weird way. 2022 01:21:39.603 --> 01:21:41.853 When I was at UFT doing research on bullying, 2023 01:21:41.853 --> 01:21:43.834 and we had a new Dean come in. 2024 01:21:44.464 --> 01:21:46.269 And he wanted us to have a new magazine. 2025 01:21:46.269 --> 01:21:48.936 So in this new magazine, he had a little profile of me, 2026 01:21:48.936 --> 01:21:51.780 and a profile of somebody else doing technology. 2027 01:21:51.780 --> 01:21:53.871 And Bell Canada came to us. 2028 01:21:53.871 --> 01:21:54.831 They had been, 2029 01:21:54.831 --> 01:21:57.028 this is the benefit of being at a big university, 2030 01:21:57.028 --> 01:21:58.340 they came to us and said, 2031 01:21:58.340 --> 01:21:59.907 if we would write a proposal on 2032 01:21:59.907 --> 01:22:02.021 cyber world and something to do with cyber, 2033 01:22:02.021 --> 01:22:03.146 they would do it. 2034 01:22:03.146 --> 01:22:05.286 So I, because... 2035 01:22:06.026 --> 01:22:08.299 I guess I had just been hearing some stuff from kids. 2036 01:22:08.299 --> 01:22:10.956 I knew that that would be really valuable. 2037 01:22:10.956 --> 01:22:12.663 For me, it's been interesting. 2038 01:22:12.663 --> 01:22:17.152 Because when I started looking at cyber abuse and risk, 2039 01:22:17.152 --> 01:22:19.915 the thing it took me to is the cyber world. 2040 01:22:19.915 --> 01:22:22.442 And then also went to our therapy too. 2041 01:22:22.442 --> 01:22:24.790 Because the thing it really made me realize 2042 01:22:24.790 --> 01:22:26.442 is that it really is a whole new world. 2043 01:22:26.442 --> 01:22:28.597 And that we're not dealing with it. 2044 01:22:30.937 --> 01:22:32.651 In terms of the images and stuff, 2045 01:22:32.651 --> 01:22:33.930 I've head to really struggle with that. 2046 01:22:33.930 --> 01:22:35.435 And I've spoken to other people who do too. 2047 01:22:35.435 --> 01:22:37.034 Because on the one hand, I see these images 2048 01:22:37.034 --> 01:22:39.071 and go, "Oh my God, they're awful." 2049 01:22:39.071 --> 01:22:40.394 And they are awful. 2050 01:22:40.394 --> 01:22:43.135 But then, so you can't just say that to the kids. 2051 01:22:43.135 --> 01:22:46.057 So I realized the balances of how to work with them. 2052 01:22:47.007 --> 01:22:49.322 Because this is part of the norm. 2053 01:22:49.322 --> 01:22:50.922 So how do you not condone it, 2054 01:22:50.922 --> 01:22:52.403 but not make it go underground? 2055 01:22:52.403 --> 01:22:53.971 So I feel that's the challenge. 2056 01:22:53.971 --> 01:22:56.456 Because I think it's very easy to make it go underground. 2057 01:22:59.606 --> 01:23:00.240 Yes? 2058 01:23:00.240 --> 01:23:02.226 - [Voiceover] I have a request and a question. 2059 01:23:02.226 --> 01:23:03.635 My request is, when you answer, can you 2060 01:23:03.635 --> 01:23:05.118 move back to the mic? - [Faye] Oh, sorry. 2061 01:23:05.118 --> 01:23:06.856 Sorry, yes, OK, sorry. 2062 01:23:06.856 --> 01:23:07.635 OK. 2063 01:23:07.635 --> 01:23:09.768 - [Voiceover] And the question is, 2064 01:23:11.338 --> 01:23:13.204 I don't know if you've looked at this, 2065 01:23:13.204 --> 01:23:16.563 but do you imagine that there are any cultural differences 2066 01:23:16.563 --> 01:23:19.603 between the Canadian experience that you're studying, 2067 01:23:19.603 --> 01:23:21.074 and the US one? 2068 01:23:21.074 --> 01:23:23.571 They may well be exactly the same, but I'm betting 2069 01:23:23.571 --> 01:23:26.194 there's something culturally different there. 2070 01:23:27.004 --> 01:23:28.263 - I think there must be. 2071 01:23:28.263 --> 01:23:29.895 And I know I'm... 2072 01:23:29.895 --> 01:23:32.040 Although I'm, so far I'm not aware of it. 2073 01:23:32.040 --> 01:23:33.992 And I've worked with some people in the states 2074 01:23:33.992 --> 01:23:35.089 who are doing it. 2075 01:23:35.089 --> 01:23:37.916 And again, I think it's so new, we're still learning. 2076 01:23:39.196 --> 01:23:43.303 But so far, I've not been really aware of any differences 2077 01:23:43.303 --> 01:23:46.722 with the ones who are doing it in the states and Canada. 2078 01:23:47.992 --> 01:23:49.286 But it's very new. 2079 01:23:49.286 --> 01:23:50.854 It's very, you know, we're just having 2080 01:23:50.854 --> 01:23:52.272 to get more specific now. 2081 01:23:53.552 --> 01:23:54.414 Yes? 2082 01:23:56.536 --> 01:23:59.257 - [Voiceover] One thing I really appreciated about your 2083 01:23:59.257 --> 01:24:02.288 talk this evening was how you talked about how 2084 01:24:03.688 --> 01:24:07.010 technology is just an integral part of 2085 01:24:07.010 --> 01:24:10.723 a youth's experience these days. 2086 01:24:10.723 --> 01:24:13.816 And I also liked how you talked about how 2087 01:24:13.816 --> 01:24:17.484 there's a disparity in technology fluency 2088 01:24:17.484 --> 01:24:19.703 between parents and the children. 2089 01:24:19.703 --> 01:24:20.941 But I think that's the place 2090 01:24:20.941 --> 01:24:22.444 where it makes it really, really hard. 2091 01:24:22.444 --> 01:24:24.257 Because I think a lot of parents do feel that 2092 01:24:24.257 --> 01:24:28.055 they're actively parenting, when maybe in fact, 2093 01:24:28.055 --> 01:24:31.105 so many things are slipping unnoticed by them. 2094 01:24:31.105 --> 01:24:32.161 I'm an educator of 2095 01:24:32.161 --> 01:24:34.561 middle school aged children. - [Faye] So you would know. 2096 01:24:34.561 --> 01:24:36.098 - [Voiceover] So I'm just wondering if you had 2097 01:24:36.098 --> 01:24:40.140 any recommendations for maybe something I could do 2098 01:24:40.140 --> 01:24:41.868 to start a conversation with parents. 2099 01:24:41.868 --> 01:24:44.470 Because we have this curriculum night every school year, 2100 01:24:44.470 --> 01:24:47.029 where we talk about what we're going to cover over the year. 2101 01:24:47.029 --> 01:24:50.037 I'm really feeling the need to include 2102 01:24:50.037 --> 01:24:53.589 this whole cyber-reality as a... 2103 01:24:53.589 --> 01:24:56.683 sort of like a checkpoint for parents. 2104 01:24:56.683 --> 01:24:58.932 Where maybe I can start that conversation and say, 2105 01:24:58.932 --> 01:25:02.143 "We need some more active parenting." 2106 01:25:02.143 --> 01:25:04.969 But they may not feel very much advocacy 2107 01:25:04.969 --> 01:25:07.936 with their own cyber abilities, 2108 01:25:07.936 --> 01:25:09.801 and to be able to actively parent. 2109 01:25:09.801 --> 01:25:11.558 So how, what would you recommend for approaching-- 2110 01:25:11.558 --> 01:25:12.518 - Well, I would say two things. 2111 01:25:12.518 --> 01:25:13.510 The first things I would say is, 2112 01:25:13.510 --> 01:25:15.366 I think parents need to know that even though 2113 01:25:15.366 --> 01:25:17.883 the kids are technologically superior, 2114 01:25:17.883 --> 01:25:19.931 cognitively and emotionally, they're not. 2115 01:25:19.931 --> 01:25:21.701 So parents need to know they're needed. 2116 01:25:21.701 --> 01:25:23.654 That they actually can help them, 2117 01:25:23.654 --> 01:25:25.520 that they really need that help. 2118 01:25:25.520 --> 01:25:27.995 And I think they also need to know then, 2119 01:25:27.995 --> 01:25:29.498 that they don't have a choice. 2120 01:25:29.498 --> 01:25:32.571 That, and they don't need to be as technologically adept. 2121 01:25:32.571 --> 01:25:34.682 Because one of the ways they can do it is 2122 01:25:34.682 --> 01:25:37.157 they can have their kids teach them the technology. 2123 01:25:37.157 --> 01:25:38.767 So that can be part of the thing. 2124 01:25:38.767 --> 01:25:40.537 The kids can be teaching them the technology. 2125 01:25:40.537 --> 01:25:42.298 And they can be talking with them 2126 01:25:42.298 --> 01:25:44.026 and opening that conversation. 2127 01:25:44.026 --> 01:25:45.166 And I think that's really important. 2128 01:25:45.166 --> 01:25:46.468 In Europe, one of the things they do, 2129 01:25:46.468 --> 01:25:48.399 they've always been ahead of us with that part of that, 2130 01:25:48.399 --> 01:25:50.106 and part of it's because their countries are smaller, 2131 01:25:50.106 --> 01:25:51.609 and they were homogeneous. 2132 01:25:51.609 --> 01:25:53.551 They don't focus just on anti-bullying. 2133 01:25:53.551 --> 01:25:57.988 They focus on pro-empathy, pro-positive interaction. 2134 01:25:57.988 --> 01:25:59.311 So I think that's what you can do. 2135 01:25:59.311 --> 01:26:00.665 If that can be the deal. 2136 01:26:00.665 --> 01:26:02.733 But I think parents need to know they're needed. 2137 01:26:02.733 --> 01:26:06.072 Because it's not right when we say kids know it better. 2138 01:26:06.072 --> 01:26:07.885 They technologically do, but they're not... 2139 01:26:07.885 --> 01:26:10.264 They're not prepared for that. 2140 01:26:11.254 --> 01:26:13.133 - [Voiceover] I think, and I'm sorry to continue, 2141 01:26:13.133 --> 01:26:15.470 but the part about how you said 2142 01:26:15.470 --> 01:26:19.255 one of the things that keeps kids from reporting bullying 2143 01:26:19.255 --> 01:26:21.282 is the fear that they'll lose their technology. 2144 01:26:21.282 --> 01:26:22.380 Because I think that's the first 2145 01:26:22.380 --> 01:26:23.660 go-to for parents, - [Faye] Absolutely. 2146 01:26:23.660 --> 01:26:24.506 - [Voiceover] is that, "I'm taking your phone away." 2147 01:26:24.506 --> 01:26:25.891 - And it needs to be the last one. 2148 01:26:25.891 --> 01:26:27.438 - [Voiceover] Right, and I think that's something 2149 01:26:27.438 --> 01:26:29.219 that I've learned tonight through your presentation, 2150 01:26:29.219 --> 01:26:31.032 that I could maybe impart to parents. 2151 01:26:31.032 --> 01:26:33.101 That maybe that's not the best idea for... 2152 01:26:33.101 --> 01:26:34.093 - Absolutely. 2153 01:26:34.093 --> 01:26:36.985 In our research, that's what they all say. 2154 01:26:36.985 --> 01:26:38.937 And the other thing parents need to know, I think, 2155 01:26:38.937 --> 01:26:40.333 is that they're given them, 2156 01:26:40.333 --> 01:26:41.495 they've gotten the message, 2157 01:26:41.495 --> 01:26:42.670 and they've given the message. 2158 01:26:42.670 --> 01:26:44.525 Everybody knows it's a risk. 2159 01:26:44.525 --> 01:26:47.448 Kids are doing it anyway, so they don't need the lecture. 2160 01:26:47.448 --> 01:26:48.568 They need the help. 2161 01:26:48.568 --> 01:26:50.434 And they really, the other thing I would say to parents is, 2162 01:26:50.434 --> 01:26:52.888 it's, and I would say, like drinking and driving. 2163 01:26:52.888 --> 01:26:55.639 They need to help them navigate this new world. 2164 01:26:55.639 --> 01:26:58.518 And it means expecting there to be problems. 2165 01:26:58.518 --> 01:26:59.414 And... 2166 01:26:59.414 --> 01:27:03.329 And the parents need help to not overreact. 2167 01:27:03.329 --> 01:27:05.996 Because often they'll think it means they're condoning. 2168 01:27:05.996 --> 01:27:07.724 So we need to give that option, 2169 01:27:07.724 --> 01:27:11.319 "But if you get into trouble, come talk to us." 2170 01:27:11.319 --> 01:27:13.557 Because kids are very aware and they feel like that. 2171 01:27:13.557 --> 01:27:14.624 And they use words like their, 2172 01:27:14.624 --> 01:27:16.011 like, "My parents will hate me. 2173 01:27:16.011 --> 01:27:17.912 They think I'm disgustiing." 2174 01:27:18.432 --> 01:27:19.882 - [Voiceover] Thank you. 2175 01:27:20.732 --> 01:27:21.295 - OK. 2176 01:27:21.295 --> 01:27:23.040 - [Voiceover] ...I think you should call it a night. 2177 01:27:23.040 --> 01:27:26.798 And again, thank you... (audiences claps) 2178 01:27:34.548 --> 01:27:35.591 Excellent. 2179 01:27:35.591 --> 01:27:36.599 - Was it OK? 2180 01:27:36.599 --> 01:27:37.521 - [Josh] It was really good. 2181 01:27:37.521 --> 01:27:38.389 - OK, [inaudible]